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3.0k · Feb 2016
A Rose
Mary Alexander Feb 2016
He gave me a rose,
With his smile, sweet and grand.
But though he meant well,
A small thorn peirced my hand.
2.8k · May 2015
Sappy Couples
Mary Alexander May 2015
Your undying love is so mushy and heartfelt.
So please spare us all
And keep it to yourself.
Felt like that needed to be said.
2.6k · Jan 2017
Storm
Mary Alexander Jan 2017
He was like a thunderstorm.
Not in the usual sense,
With a roaring voice or
Overwhelming showers,
But in the way a thunderstorm
Reminds you of a fireplace
And blankets and smiles.
The way a thunderstorm
Reminds you of home.
2.1k · Jan 2017
No Right
Mary Alexander Jan 2017
You left a scab which
Took too long to form,
And my healing heart
Was all dead and worn.
You have no right
To come back and do this,
Checking me off
Like an item on your To-Do list,
What happened to me
Was awful and cruel,
And now "never trust"
Is my number one rule.
So you have no right
To come back and say,
"Oops, I'm sorry
I treated you that way",
For shallow words do
Nothing when spoken,
To a newly healed heart,
Not ready to be broken.
2.0k · Aug 2016
Constant Goofy Smiles
Mary Alexander Aug 2016
Indirectly,
Timidly, yet
Clearly
Making plans and
Testing waters.
must resist the urge to burst into song every five seconds.
1.9k · Nov 2014
Education
Mary Alexander Nov 2014
There is a soft cry from the room.
in the center stands a girl.
Challenged.
11 at most
who is drowning in sheets of unnecessary stress, pain, and helplessness.
They call it  
education.
In my future, I am planning to teach children with special needs. One thing that I hate the most about the current situation is how cast aside these individuals are.
1.7k · Feb 2016
Ignored
Mary Alexander Feb 2016
Often ignored
Are the soft cries
Of those taken advantage of.
It hurts so badly
1.7k · Dec 2017
conscious
Mary Alexander Dec 2017
i thought about you today.
quite a ****** experience, to be honest.
the iron box full of
sick confessionals that is your heart
made me squint at the wall in front of me.
my pen stopped writing and fell
down my frayed scrap of paper
like a raindrop on a car window, and
i felt like a child confronted by a nasty bug.
picturing your face.
im still staring at the wall wondering
if these thoughts deserve any
complex, wrinkled thesaurus found words.
i frown as i notice a crack in the paint.
they dont.
1.4k · Feb 2016
Empath
Mary Alexander Feb 2016
The empath girl
feels for those she loves most
On a level that cannot be understood by a simple mind.
But the empath girl
also feels so alone
For no one will ever care about her
On that same level.
Truth hurts
1.4k · Nov 2014
Fair
Mary Alexander Nov 2014
I'm the girl who walked away.
Not chasing the stupid dreams
Stupid thoughts
Stupid actions.
Your eyes were blank.
Stupid.
Your arms were open.
Stupid.
I won't look at you the way they do
I see through everything and into what's there.
What's really there.
I won't be them.
I am me.
Smart.
Brave.
FURIOUS.
And you're still standing there.
But now I see.
So sorry to break your record.
But I'm the girl who walked away.
And I think that's fair.
1.4k · Oct 2016
Locket
Mary Alexander Oct 2016
I have a golden locket,
That hangs around my neck,
It's heavy as weighted stone,
And I'm a nervous wreck.
I keep it with me through each day,
And through the passing cold,
I keep it close, next to my heart,
Although it has grown old.
I have this ****** and rusted locket,
Filled with ash and pain,
I don't know why I wear it still,
Don't ask me to explain.
Mary Alexander Aug 2016
The moment those words sparked from your fingertips,
My heart simultaneously
Broke into billions of pieces
At your hand, one last time,
And my mind was filled with an indifference
That I could no longer control.
An indifference that my heart
Had previously overpowered,
But you see, now that my heart is scattered.
Like the ashes of a withered ancient woman
Over the sea, it can no longer remind
My stubborn mind of
The past, and what could be the present.
It's a curious thing-
Feeling nothing. After four long weeks
Of feeling everything
Despite remaining silent for my
Intense emotions were worthless.
Worthless emotions, worthless if expressed
In any form.
Eyes, arms, song, words spoken or recorded.
Worthless.
The pain of this knowledge.
The pain of love that I did not want but
Could no longer control.
But now
As I weave these words together,
My fingers clicking away
Drifting to a place far from my body.
But now,
The shards of my heart, swarming through space,
Desperately in search for one another,
I feel nothing.
It's no longer in my hands
Mary Alexander Aug 2014
tapping my feet.
drumming my hands on my knees.
smiling and nodding to your story
while making quick glances at the clock.
its nearly at the 40.
twenty minutes
till i can leave
without looking inpolite
your words, they bore me,
your sweet talk annoys me.
i'm sorry i'm wound so tight.
i value our friendship
but you just want to sit and flirt,
while i want to sprint and drive dangerously fast
and scream, and feel alive.
Your talking has stopped.
your eyes fixed on mine, waiting.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
i snap out of my trance and look at you
"only that I love you"
i don't know why.
why you take that risk.
and say that to me
maybe i really don't know you
i look down at my hands, then back at the clock, which is now at the 52.
my foot stops tapping as i look into your eyes.

           maybe i love you too.
1.1k · May 2016
The Self Righteous
Mary Alexander May 2016
There's nothing I hate more,
Than judgemental, snarky people,
Who roam this earth,
Assuming that their words are harmless, but always true.
It's a major turn off for me.
1.1k · Oct 2015
Sad Man Happy Face
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
Do you think I don't see?
Do you think I don't know?
Because whether you like it or not,
I'm never going to let go.
Not if you refuse to tell me
Why there's such pain in your eyes.
Not if you sit there smiling
As a sad man in disguise.
I'm sorry that I see it.
And love, you look sad.
When you think no one can see you,
And I'm sorry, but I can.
Because your masked face trick doesn't work on me.
And I love you so deeply that
I cannot watch this happen.
I can't sit here to wait and see
Wait and see?! But what if it deepens?
What would you tell me then?
"I'm sorry, I tried"?
Because if that's it, then you didn't.
You didn't really try.
You just sat and waited.
You just waited till your spirit died.
Please talk to me. It hurts me more than you know.
1.1k · Sep 2015
Wings
Mary Alexander Sep 2015
Wings are made to fly, they say.
Then why are mine weighted,
Ready to die today?
1.1k · Aug 2014
A Sad, Guarded Heart
Mary Alexander Aug 2014
She walks
You wouldn't notice her.
She has mastered the art
The art of blending in.
Don't feel bad.
There's nothing you can do.
She is fine with the act she puts on.
Want a happy, silly girl?
She'll give it to you.
If you think you truly know her,
You are mistaken.
Very few people do.
Only those closest to her heart
Which is sealed off.
Impenetrable like dragons scales.
1.0k · Jul 2016
Millenial Witches
Mary Alexander Jul 2016
My generation is swarming
With new kinds of witches.
Some will be obvious,
Lurking and spitting, throwing
Daggers from the corners of every room.
But on occasion, one will be covert,
With sweet dresses and
Beautiful hair cascading down her shoulders.
Greeting those around her
With a charming smile and wide, bright eyes.
But she weaves a web of deciet and triffling words,
And as she speaks, she clouds your mind, speaking
In foreign tongues which are not
Of this true world, until you
Are caught unaware, for her spell has been cast.
You blink, confused, and look down at your hands,
Trying to ignore the impending sensation of insects
Creeping up your arms
Until you realize.
You realize that her spells are not those of darkness and horror,
They do not come in forms such as toads, dark clouds, or anguish.
Her power, her only power
Is that of one way time travel.
And when she casts her spell, her words take you back
To when you were simple, childish,
12 years of age.
Her words come out in flames,
Painful, cruel flames that scortch your heart,
You fight back, begging her to stop
And realize the pain she is inflicting,
Until you suddenly notice that the words are meaningless.
Words, painful words,
But from a child's mouth.
And you stare at her in horror when your past self
Flees your being while her's remains.
Her words, still shooting from her mouth, now
Small, plastic bullets from
A child's gun.
They sting your skin, but no longer scortch your heart.
She then flies away, charming smile back in place,
Leaving you swaying in utter shock, praying
That her next victim will posess your same
Awareness, and sense the truth behind the flames.
It's terrifying.
1.0k · Oct 2015
Real Pain
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
I'm sprinting.
I'm hoping it works.
Hoping I forget breathing.
I'm sprinting till it hurts.
Till the pain shoots through my bones.
Hopefully then I'll wake up.
And focus on only that pain.
Reminding me not to "feel".
Because there is never very much gain.  
Hopefully soon I'll realize what's real.
933 · Jan 2015
Grenade
Mary Alexander Jan 2015
But I tried to tell him he was a star
He IS a star.
A dying star
In need of a shock wave of air.
I could be that air.
I keep saying that,
But it's a lie.
For he's a grenade.
Destroying everything in his path.
933 · Jan 2016
Don't Eat
Mary Alexander Jan 2016
I can't eat.
You think that I'm stupid,
But it's no small feat
Because though I can feel my stomach shrinking inside me,
I am stuck on repeat,
Starving, ignoring, forgetting
Yanking with this sharp leash
Saying don't eat
Don't eat
Don't eat.
Because maybe then I'll have some control.
Or the ugly will go away.
Maybe the black, consuming pain
In my heart,
Will finally turn to gray.
"Gosh Mary! Why don't you eat? I just love food!"
929 · Nov 2015
Will Never
Mary Alexander Nov 2015
Things aren't that way between us.
But if he opens his arms,
I don't hesitate to run into them.
Things will never be romantic,
But I still get lost in his eyes
And forget to speak.  
We will never feel that way,
But his smile feels like my only joy
When my days are filled with darkness.
Things will never be "more",
But his presence brings me relief.
I don't know how it began,
Where it will lead,
Or how it will end.
But I know that my love in some way will remain.
Simple and pure till I live my last days.
Free verse. Sorry not sorry.
884 · Jan 2017
Oh Ella
Mary Alexander Jan 2017
"Oh Ella, what have you done?"
Must I explain again?
I've fallen in love with fear,
It's made me stronger and
Fuled my brand of fire. Is that wrong?
"Oh Ella, what have you done?"
I'll say it once,
I've learned to slap sour, poetic, spitting lips
Away from my face
With no hesitation, is that wrong?
"Oh Ella, what have you done?"
I can't keep repeating.
I walked through hell with a smile.
Skipping around flames, letting dust
Tangle in my hair. Is that wrong?
"Oh Ella, what have you done?"
Do not judge my strength.
I've raised myself on the edge
Of the lion's backbone,
Now foverever changed, safe, why is that wrong?


"Oh Ella, what have you done?"
Nothing.

I no longer answer to you.
862 · Feb 2016
Think First
Mary Alexander Feb 2016
Warm hands outstretched,
Hey, are you okay?
Welcoming eyes of fire,
Please, I'm asking you to stay.
And now I realize, that at that first touch,
I should have walked away.
837 · Mar 2015
Fearless
Mary Alexander Mar 2015
Why was I obsessed over you?
You hurt me, and that's the only thing that's true.
So now, I transform my sadness.
I'm sorry about your troubles.
They will drive you to madness.
But now I won't be sad,
Wounded,
Insecure.
I HATE you.
My anger at all the things that you do.
And now I couldn't care less
Because my sadness has been transformed.
I am fearless.
Just...yeah.
830 · Oct 2015
Irrelevant
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
You think love is a game.
That another persons heart is an experiment.
And though I love you,
I can't watch you dance in circles.
This awkard, hurtful
Relationship without a purpose.
I could give wisdom
Help, advice,or comfort.
But I'm too angry to speak.
To angry to put in much effort.
Yayyyy
816 · Oct 2014
Instinct
Mary Alexander Oct 2014
I feel the need to go away
to run.
You're unstable.
instability is dangerous.
I want to draw away.
Let you find that peace.
That peace that comes when you stand alone
staring deep
into the eyes of the open sky.
The peace that comes
when you close your eyes and free your mind
from all the worries and pain.
That stupid pain that keeps you from being good.
807 · Feb 2016
Telling Lies
Mary Alexander Feb 2016
I told him I was fine,
But then he looked at me and said:
"If you're going to do that,
Then I want you to take my arm,
and cut as many times
you would yourself",
I stared in disbelief.
Told him I couldn't,
Couldn't cause him such harm.
Not ever.
Then I suddenly froze
Struggled to breathe, struggled to speak.
Lost feeling all the way through my toes.
In that moment, I saw it,
Deep in his eyes.
I finally understood.
And I stopped telling lies.
Little story
764 · Oct 2014
The Underestimated
Mary Alexander Oct 2014
She stands.
Afraid to move.
Afraid to breath.
Afraid that she'll hurt those around her.
Then
She opens her eyes.
the fire burning in her heart
reflected in them.
She is strong.
She can't be controlled.
The group steps in.
She grasps her small knife and glares at the first.
As if daring him
to step further.
He takes a step forward
and she takes her own.
his lips curl into a cruel sneer.
He says,
"you stupid little girl...
you think you can hur--"
She looks down at the man.
Then around at the rest
Faces all in awe of what they'd learned
they back away
and she strides away
Flaming hair rippling behind her.
760 · Mar 2016
My Shadow
Mary Alexander Mar 2016
He was the shadow to my light.
There cannot be one without the other.
No matter how fast I ran to get away,
He was always present.
No matter how close I got,
I could never touch him.
And he could not touch me.
My brightness made him stronger,
But also more likely to slip away any second
Like the early morning fog.
His phantom heart was something I could try to understand, but never fully reach.
We were destined to be side by side,
But never together.
It's a mess.
755 · Oct 2015
I'm Here to Tell You
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
Hey little buddy,
Get ready to listen up.
I'm about to tell you what's true.
And it might get a bit rough.
She's gone through too much.
Too much to take one more.
But you left her and said, good luck!
So I'm here to tell you the deal.
You touch her heart one more time.
And I'll make you feel
The pain that I once knew
The only kind
I've come accustomed to.
The pain of letting go
And watching some one leave you behind.
I'm sorry, I had to say that.
I just couldn't remain "kind".
747 · Oct 2015
Where I'll Be
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
What happened to you
Is part of your story.
And I love you even though
It came with no glory.
Because what matters to me,
Isn't your strength.
It isn't your ability
To stop, breath and think.
I thought it was obvious, but I guess I'll explain.
It's your heart, don't you see?
Though it's been through all this pain
It's remained earnest and pure.
Even though you can't see.  
Please trust me when I say,
That where you are is where I'll be.
Always and forever
747 · Mar 2016
Beware the Pretty Words
Mary Alexander Mar 2016
Sometimes I wonder about
Who cares, and who doesn't.
Do those who don't think they do?
Because the young adult mind
Is clouded by hormones
And frankly, not fully developed.
So those who "care"
But don't ask questions about your life?
Those who "love you",
But aren't interested in talking about your passions?
Those who "want to be there"
But stop paying attention the second you feel happy?
Be wary of those people.
Because though they have pretty words,
They are always temporary.
If the person isn't curious about your life outside of your sadness.
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
You think I'm crazy
You think I'm gone.
But that's the reason
That we get along.
You think I'm insane,
Entirely bonkers.  
Like a mental drain.  
Completely off of my rocker.
There's a little poison in me.  
Just enough to make me grin.  
Because, you see, that's the key
To finding where I've been.
You think I'm crazy.
I say yes, baby I'm mad.
With my skin so pasty
And my eyes so gold.
The craziest friend that you've ever had.
742 · Mar 2017
The Introvert's Panic
Mary Alexander Mar 2017
Bright lights are deafening
And sounds cloud my vision.
Voices are magnified and
Spaces are enclosing as I
Gasp for breath, as I
Muffle small cries.
Faces. So many faces
Blurring together and I
Grab at the air, begging it
To quit it's fighting with
My stubborn lungs.
It's incredible.
All this noise, all these screams,
And I haven't moved an inch.
Inside the mind.
741 · Oct 2016
Broken Compass
Mary Alexander Oct 2016
My heart is a broken compass.
Constantly whirling,
Lost, in a constant battle with gravity.
Spinning in search for north,
But always finding itself trapped
And staring into the east of your eyes instead.
Ending up looking at the sunrise isn't the worst thing in the world though
716 · Jan 2016
Never The One
Mary Alexander Jan 2016
Her hair is like the sun,
Lighting up the day.
Mine is like the midnight sky,
To which lost souls gaze in utter dismay.
Her eyes of gentle, calming blue,
And mine of piercing gold,
My simple, sad, repeating story
Is just now being told.
Every time, I understand.
I expect this dull feeling-
I don't stand a chance.
The girl with the fleeting
Look in her eyes,
With raven black hair,
And a deadly fire in her smile.
She's never the one,
The one to catch his eye.
And though it pained her deeply,
She learned, on her own, how to fly.
It's always been the same little tale for some reason.
704 · Nov 2015
Firm Words and Emerald Eyes
Mary Alexander Nov 2015
He wouldn't let me leave him.
He wouldn't let me run.
As the light of my heart was dimmed,
His fired up, much like the sun.

His desperation scared me
As I tried to turn away.
His emerald eyes consumed me,
As he begged me longer to stay.

My emptiness consumed me
As the tears flowed from my eyes.
He said he'd never been angry,
This took me by surprise.

So I simply stood in awe,
Motionless and still.
As though some great, unspoken law
Forced me me to stay, until

He took me in his arms,
And crushed me to his chest.
I listened to his steady heart,
Felt safe, away from the rest.

He held on until my sobbs had slowed,
And my breathing found its peace.
He said "I'll never let you go."
Until my shivers finally ceased.

We stood there for a while,
His lips pressed to my forehead,
I knew that they had formed a smile.
And soon, my fears had fled.
691 · Aug 2015
Broken
Mary Alexander Aug 2015
She knew a boy
She let him in.
It was an accident, really
So is that a sin?
But she made the mistake
Of trusting this boy
And thought that maybe,
Just maybe
He could bring her some joy.
But her ideals were wrong
For his opinions were too strong.
And so, without knowing,
He broke the girl.
Without knowing of his wrong.
678 · Mar 2016
Petty Issues
Mary Alexander Mar 2016
It frightens me
How much time we spend
Focusing on what doesn't matter.
The petty issues that flood my generation.
They all seem to be swimming in the waves.
Fully absorbed in their "pain" and "troubles".
But I am drowning.
Because I'm tired of hearing about
Fashion.
I'm tired of little children crying over
"Love".
I'm tired of all of the self absorbed people in my world.
And soon, I'll gracefully exit.
Sorry for all the venting free verse.
675 · Jun 2018
please
Mary Alexander Jun 2018
Sweetheart, look to the mountains.
Their unwavering power. Their
Still, magnificent beauty.
Please climb them with me.

Sweetheart, look to the ocean.
It's vast mystery. The
Cleansing, crashing waves.
Please swim in them with me.

Sweetheart, look to the stars.
Their ancient compass, their
Never- ending hope.
Please dance under them with me.

Please say yes
Just this once.

just once.

once
674 · Feb 2016
His Heart
Mary Alexander Feb 2016
His heart will always make me think of a flower.
Filled completely with love
Through each darkening hour.
He's steady when I'm not
653 · Apr 2016
By Choice
Mary Alexander Apr 2016
I am being tortured by choice.
I have screamed until not even the slightest whimper can escape my lips.
And I lie there silent, telling myself
That it's fine.
I want this.
Don't I?
I shake there violently
Waiting for some reprieve,
While knowing all the while that it will never come.
I sit there, shivering.
Surrounded by unwanted emotions and
Waiting patiently for the next blow against my pale, fragile spine.
651 · Oct 2015
Wait, What?
Mary Alexander Oct 2015
I'm staring off into space.
Again while he speaks.
I'm thinking about other things.
Like the falling autumn leaves.
Thinking about what it would be like
For him when I'm gone.
Wondering who would miss me
I'm wondering if I'll stay long.
I'm slowly coming back,
Picking up words here and there.
Missing the feelings I lack.
Needing people like air.
He's still talking.
Except now he staring with hope in his strange eyes.
And I feel guilt rushing through me.
"Wait what?" I ask, with blankness on my face.
And so as he looks right at me,
He gets up and walks away.
I'm just really great at being a friend.
647 · Aug 2015
Love
Mary Alexander Aug 2015
Here's a hint:
Don't fall into love.  
Whatever love it may be.
For you'll pause one day
You'll think to yourself
Why must this happen to me?
624 · Dec 2015
A Smile
Mary Alexander Dec 2015
I shut my eyes,
Willing my thoughts away.
I take a step back,
Though I truly wish to stay.
But what will I do?
While his sight remains blocked.
Tell him I love him?
No. That must remain locked.
For though what we have is strong,
There's a crack in our base.
So I will remain silent.
With a placid smile on my face.
621 · Aug 2015
Fire
Mary Alexander Aug 2015
You always think that I'm sad.
Or mad.
But perhaps
It is just that when I'm with you
Your spirit is too loud.

And I'm tired of listening.
Sitting in torture while you
Burst with pride and opinions and stupidity
I think I may soon explode.

And when that happens,
The quiet shy girl
Who you thought you knew,
Will transform into a fire.  
A fire that burns everything in its path.
608 · Jul 2016
My Pit of Color
Mary Alexander Jul 2016
A thin, yet deadly electric shock
Weaves it's way through my rib cage
In a gentle,
Silent pattern towards my heart.
It's gentleness ceases the moment it hits it's target,
Causing a pain so sharp and persistent that
I am forced to collapse into an angry colored pit filled with confusion and never-ending words.
I blink as my eyes adjust to my ever-changing surroundings and
A brilliant green consumes my mind first,
Bringing a warm sense of safety and trust as my heart
Finds its beat again.
But soon it quickens as a visitor of ivory consumes my being,
And I squeeze my eyes shut against the past white-hot pain
Flashing in front of me before
It is overcome by a powerful red,
Causing tremors to travel in sparks
Up and down my vulnerable arms, and
There's anger, oh so much anger, and my eyes are burning and
I cannot breathe until my surroundings dissolve into
The purest of golds, and I am in a daze.
In pure wonder of what was, a faint smile creeps onto my lips
As I hear a soft, distant laughter, my own mischievous laughter,
That fills me with warmth.
And I shiver when my last visitor comes, envelopes me in
A beautiful deep violet storm of words
Past and present, confusing me and tangling themselves in my mind,
I whip my head around, searching for a way out of this pit
Only to find that there are no doors, there is no escape for me.
I succumb to the bewilderment and allow the violet mass to fully
Enter my mind, which was previously blocked off,
As I try to search my memories for one clue,
One sign to aid my feeble efforts of unraveling this tangled
Purple wire.
And nothing is there.
I am the ultimate mess. Wish me luck.
588 · Aug 2014
Magic
Mary Alexander Aug 2014
Beneath the starlight
        I stand in an open field.
Wind diving through the  raven strands of my hair
        As the moon shines upon my face.
The night is, so full of life,
         I look up at the stars
And down  to the path illuminated before me.
         I smile
         and run.
Sprinting through the field,
         I am dancing,
               Like a child.
Free in the light of the nighttime sun
I let out a burst of laughter.  
I feel as though I am flying,
    No.
                    I am dancing.  

I have left the field. Now I'm sprinting through the forest among the trees.
This feeling. Dancing with the night.
The open field. The stars. The moon. The trees.
I begin to slow my pace and find my way back to my open plain.
Where I collapse and gaze up at the stars with the purest happiness I've ever felt.
It's indescribable.
                    It's magic.
This obviously isn't my best work, but it's something that I wanted to share anyways :)
584 · Sep 2015
My Heart
Mary Alexander Sep 2015
My heart is strong.
Because it has loved and failed.
Because it waited too long.
It's been bruised.
Beaten
And worn
Till it no longer cares.
He says it gets better.
Those three words,
The words I am tired of hearing.
My heart starts to heal,
And it's better.
Till it gets beaten again.
And it's starting to harden.
Nothing can soften it.
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