your smile
made
my lungs
fill with
flowers
and although
they are
beautiful
I can't
seem to
*******
breathe.

To the woman that once carried me
and still carries on doing so.*

There is a stereotype
of superheroes wearing capes
but I reject that.
Mine wears regular clothing,
sometimes glasses,
and smells like home.

Your presence is all I need when
I feel like I'm crumbling.
Your embrace has a power
of bringing pieces I thought I lost
back together.

You have a power
to believe in me
when even I don't.
You are the hand I feel
squeezing strenght into
my thoughts
through my shoulder.
You are the voice in my head
that tells me to keep on going
when the road gets a little tough.
Your smile makes
everything so much better,
everyone so much happier.

You are wonderful
You are beautiful
You are magical
You are exquisite
You are brilliant
You are enchanting
You are marvelous
You are my mom
and
You are exactly
everything I want to be
when I grow up.

I feel like I am living in a shell.
The words "you don't belong here"
are constantly being echoed back
by my limits.
Things that seem to go natural
with everyone around me
are a lot harder in this shell.
With every inhale of life I take
comes an exhale of desperation to live
and not knowing how to.
It deceived me into thinking
it kept me safe but all this time
it has been what was holding me back.
I see that now
but the words keep echoing in my head
youdontbelonghereyoudontbelonghereyoudontbelonghere

Break­ing out of my shell was never an option
I can not survive without it.
But I do want to leave it
and everyone
and everything
I do want to leave.

When I was little
I could never decide
what I wanted as a topping
for my pancakes.
Now I have to decide
where I want my life to go,
what college I want to go to,
what I want to save up for,
what I want want to be.
I don't want to have
to make all those decisions,
I just want sugar.

I was
so happy
I felt
brighter
than the sun
but you
couldn't bare
so you put
sunglasses on

I fell
into an ocean
of bed sheets
desperately trying
to drown myself.

But instead
I met with
your overpowering
smell.

So I held
my breath
and suffocated
instead.