i don't know why i'm crying
guess my body is just used to it
now it's my nightly routine
how i wipe off my makeup
every night

my humanity is slipping
as i become my numbers
give me one more like

Tell me, gracious
of what do you know
the girl who i was
long long ago
whose long, brown hair
danced to and fro
in weather when birds wouldn't sing

Have you heard of her
kind green eyes
an innocent heart
incapable of lies
how everyday she tries and tries
to play with those kids in the street

Did they tell you
how i used to play
before some creepy man
took my innocence away
before i cried on the floor
and prayed and prayed
that someone would come and save me

Do you recall
before i couldn't eat
before one, small apple
was a "special treat"
as the doctor told me to take a seat
and asked when my starving would end

Remember before
my heart was broken
by senior boys
with lovely words spoken
and crushed into pieces
they kept as a token
of how i was defeated

But that girl has not grown
as i have now
cannot say confidently
that she earned her crown
although all the suffering
did wear her down
i built myself back up

heartbreak always is the theme,
lots of pain, a poet's dream
the lies and tears, they rip my seam
my guts are spilling out

I have been lying for so long.
I have masked the ugly parts of myself that make me who I am.
Because to write about these things,
would not be as beautiful to read.
I wouldn't be a poet, I'd be psychotic.
Truth is, I am not "poetry".
I am not "romance".
I am just dramatic as ****.
"He" was never mine.
I was a freshman, "he" was a senior.
I wasn't "in love", I was obsessed.
"He" didn't break me, I did.
And I just never got over it.