i cry for the day when i see him again. when years have passed and babies have grown. when trees have fallen and our songs have long been unsung. when memories are fading and numbness consumes us. i cry because i know time will not preserve us. and in that moment, every thread of myself will come undone. all the work i've put into forgetting him will disappear from my mind. i cry because i know i'll see him- his soft blue eyes, dimples, dark curly hair, broad shoulders, imperfect teeth, boundless smile, deep smile creases- and i'll fall in love with him all over again.
i cry for when he does not love me back, again. when he'll turn towards his beautiful girl, a tiny blonde with a brilliant smile, and love her like you read about. the kind of love poets and artists alike have been feeding off of, manipulating into art, for centuries.
and i'll cry for years, decades, wasting away as the salt water erodes me.
because when you're really in love, you can never get out.

Hello World,
the other day i almost killed myself
but then i looked outside
at all the beauty in the world
from the dead it'd surely hide

Hello World,
the other day i looked in the mirror
and squeezed my rolls so tight
hoping they would just pop off
and roll into the night
but then i remembered
these squishy things
have held some favorites of mine
and they are beautiful in every light
regardless, they are mine

Hello World,
the other day some boy i liked
told me i was weird
that i was crazy and not his type
what i had always feared
but then i heard his jokes were lame
and we can't have that here
of all **** jocks
he was the same
high school boys not worth their tears

Hello World,
you have so much left to offer
i have only just begun
all these problems are temporary
so worrying is just dumb

what if i am never good enough
what do i do then
and if that time is coming
does that mean it's my end