In a city that never sleeps
At 1am the trains have stopped
But jeepney engines roar
You can see a few dressed in ragged
Shouting, sometimes laughing
Their dark skin burnt
By stinging rays of reality
At most times you will see a few going through
Garbage bags and bins for salvation
Just like how they go through
The bulks and ******* of everyday life
At 1am the most interesting people come out
Friends, lovers on a rendezvous
Waiting in line
Hungry
A 68-year old man
Ready to clean up and opens doors for everybody
A teenage girl sitting
Plain bored and disinterested
Until a much older man comes up
Asked a few questions
Then left together
Kids hitching on maddened wheels
Jump off and ask for alms
Ready to grab whatever catches their attention
Like how they hold on to questions
Which their parents fail to answer
At 1am you will see
Street lights and dark alleys
Stop lights blinking red to green then orange
And back to red again
People cross the streets
Cautious, guarded against shadows
Lurking on the darkest corners of the streets
At 1am you will see
The ****** and the blessed
The ill-fated and the comfortable
Mix up on the streets
You may decide to
Go on watching
Or
Put your cigarette out
And call it a day
But for people alive at 1am
Life goes on
In a city that never sleeps

-Malaya Sanchez

Do people who
die in their sleep
stay in their dreams
forever?

Mother
I know
Your instincts tell you
How i hurt inside
Though i've never said a word
Nor shed a tear infront of you
And it hurts to imagine
How you find comfort
And sleep in my bed
Whenever i worry you
While i was away
I guess i'm on the hardest
Of all hard days
And the lowest
Of the low
A heartbreak
And uncertainties of what to do
Have been running like rats
In madhouses
Right in my brain
I still haven't mustered
The courage
I never know when
And i know if i tell you
That would break your heart more
I appreciate
How you try to cheer me up
Despite my cranky face all day
How you try to pull me out of my cave
And bring me to places
Though you know
I hate seeing people
And how you try to digress my attention
From buying alcohol
But still buy me anyway
And scolding me when
You found my pack of cigarettes
I wanted to stop mother
I'm working on it
But not now
But this I promise today
For you i won't try
To touch death
Nor even think about it again
There will be days
When I will lock myself in my room
There will be nights
When i will choose to be in solitude
But i promise mother
That i will grow up
That i will grow old
That I will get through this
And one day
I'll be stronger
Like you

-Malaya Sanchez

I kept on fighting
For my limbs
For my arms
And my heart
I kept on fighting
Because i need them
Just not to function
But to live fully
I keep on fighting
I see them lurking around
The walls
The streets
Even under your cousin's pillow
And under our bed
I am afraid
I admit
I am afraid
Of losing
I am afraid that you might see me
Not needed anymore
If you decide
To feed me to the wolves
Following us around
With their teeth bare
And those gazing eyes
One day you told me
That my grip is too binding
And you want to be free
I had no choice
But to give you
All the freedom of the earth
And suddenly one day
You came rushing to me
Cursing
Cursing
And cursing
And went away
And one day
My limbs
My arms
And my heart
Were no longer there
Hallucinations of nostalgia
I was fed to the wolves
And you went away with them
At such an ungodly hour
I prayed that the universe would save me
For i am left bare with my soul

-Malaya Sanchez

I wish to be a bird and touch the heavens
I wish to turn into dust and kiss the stars
I wish the be a tree breathe by the earth
And be part of it once my leaves fall off
I wish to be the sun beaming across the sky
I wish to become the moon lulling you to sleep
I wish to become the ocean touching the land
With every touch to give you life
I wish to be wind that hums to your ears
I wish to be the rain that meets your skin
I wish to end all sadness
I wish to end all pain
I wish i would sleep forever
And swim in a world of insignificance
And nothingness

A rainy afternoon
Amnesiac was playing
Wishing I would be one when I go back
And I’ve drown myself
In Bukowski’s soul
Just the way I needed it
So I won’t have to
Depend on the sleeping tonic
Lying around the room
Everything was becoming peaceful
Swimming in tabula rasa that give me hope
Arms becoming numb
Eyes starting to shut
Just the way I want to
Then someone from the gates of hell
Decided to pull me out of it
“Malaya! Malaya! Are you going out?”
The most nonsense question
To my utmost annoyance i almost flipped everything
But composed myself
And replied “no!!!”
**** this ****
Solitude is my bestfriend
But he was not here
When I needed him most

-Malaya Sanchez

I saw a child roaming around forest
With her long black flowing hair
Dressed in white tunic
Then she reached a cemetery
Which was made of stained glass
With dug holes but no bodies
And then I just saw her there
Walking around
I knew it wasn’t me
But somebody else
Then i woke up
I was a man who was labelled crazy
And had to see this shrink
Who was sitting on her desk in the same forest
I convinced her to give me some colored pens
Because the stained glass was too beautiful to ignore
And it surrounded the pale child in a white tunic
But she told me that can’t be
Instead she gave me a piece of “chocolate”
Which turned out into a pen
And then i woke up

-Malaya Sanchez