when i close my eyes
i find tranquility
only on nights where
i imagine you besides me

-i am still adjusting to the vacant spot on my bed

I searched for happiness
in a dark closet with the door closed.

it's my birthday.
i cried last night of the thought that i really made it another year.
the rain seemed to push me down so hard and i can't believe i'm still here.
walking with my friend yesterday,
i looked at her,
just by looking at her,
i knew that i should be here.
in that moment,
i knew i wanted to stay.
it's birthday and i'm --,
another year of breathing,
another year of crying,
another year of smiling,
another year of feeling like i was nothing,
another year of loving,
another year of me.
i don't know how to feel this year about myself yet
but
i'm here and that's all that matters.

In my years of motherhood
I’ve pick up on new things
Like no matter how many times I say no
No thank you
No thank you
No thank you

She hears yes
She hears try to feed mom more of it better yet grab her face and make her eat it!
If I say stop
Stop. No thank you
No thank no thank you.
She hears go because mom can’t catch me
Which it’s funny
Until we’re crossing the street and memories I don’t have of my childhood comes back to bite me because I was hit by a car at the age of 4
Kids follow the adult
Kids live by example
For the life of me my daughter can not understand why she doesn’t get to wear deodorant or have to shave
Yet
Yet
It’s impossible to tell my daughter not to scratch when she sees mommy doing it
Poor itchy skin
100 percent cotton
Oatmeal baths and aquaphor
before I knew what it was to be a woman you matured me
So I thank you
Outside of making my hustle harder
You’ve made me realize
How much I sound like my mother
How independence buds young
How what you say echoes
How you repeat what you hear before understanding what the hell it means like what bed bugs actually were meanwhile steady telling each other goodnight don’t let them bite

You made me realize I’m not bulletproof
How much you need me and I need you
How kisses fix boo boos
And hugs dry tears and make everything better
But there’s a not so nice part
I know you’ll tell me you hate me
I’ll explain why you are growing here there and are getting hair everywhere
But that’s the beauty of my motherhood
Not the strongest nor the only single one but I know I’m a **** good one
For the others out there on your grind you deserve all the cookies cakes and a nap
Take in how we make it happen
Take in how we make something out of nothing
Take it how we do it alone
The fight
struggle
Succeed
alone
but really go take a nap

Fragile


Everyone is temporary
They want you to fail
Matter of fact there is no one around you that routes for your success and that's a problem
If diamonds are made under pressure
Why is it that I feel broken
Like ants under feet
Being stomped on faily
I'm crushed
There's gotta be a rhyme to reason
The pain
Unbelievable
But it ***** not having someone in your corner
That's how i always **** myself over

Glass is fragile and so are bonds.
Both can be shattered