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M Catherine Nov 2015
and in an instant
I am alone.
The storm rages on
with the one I can't hone.
the emotions overflow
the ones I struggle to hide
the ones I must contain
the ones I keep inside
I don't know where they came from
I just want them to leave
None of them make sense
and they make me want to heave
maybe I will talk with her
even though it is no use
because every time I need to lean
on her, she has a good excuse
"I'm here if you need me"
All you have to offer is biology
I don't need reasons, I need comfort
you've never heard of that policy?
It's funny; I seem put together
but no one knows the half of it
I only seem put together
because I have to *******
everything I've ever done
that wasn't pure passion
in fact, I've found that lots of things
seem to follow in this fashion.
Give me a chance to decide,
to sing, to love, to breathe
Give me a chance to strive
and wear my heart on my sleeve
I'm not special
no matter what they tell me
I'm not really good at anything
and there's nothing I could be.
Of course, many people have Ideas
but I don't want to care.
I mean, I do anyways
because I don't dare
to defy my parents
even though I do in my mind
and my soul,
blood and law bind
me to their ideologies
and their religion and their behavior
so I'll continue to wait for the boy
who will be my savior.
Because it sure as hell won't be Jesus
who'll take me in his arms
and kiss away my tears
and kiss away the girl she harms
                                              M.C.M
M Catherine Nov 2015
rain drops tip toe
and dance through my window
the brilliant light
illuminates the night
and as the thunder roars
my heart rate soars.
The world is alive now
and all I can wonder is how
I will ever sleep
if this weather decides to keep
letting itself go
because in these moments, I know
that where there is beauty so dear,
there is also fear
                             M.C.M
Not done
  Nov 2015 M Catherine
Kay Ireland
coughing up something.
heart, soul, lungs,
i don’t know.
nails bitten down too far.
it hurts to touch you,
it hurts to touch me.
every shape,
every curve,
every inch
feels wrong.
my own skin is a prison
for the ethereal being
i long to be.
i am stuck,
hating myself,
loving you.
  Nov 2015 M Catherine
Kay Ireland
I was beautiful once.
With hair the colour of red wine
And a smile to illuminate
The deepest caverns of his heart,
I was happy
And that made me beautiful.
My toes dug into seaside sand
Until I was numb beneath the setting sun.
He called me “baby”
And told me to look at the birds over there.
He told me I was beautiful
And I smiled.
Standing in front of a bush full of bees,
Or under a bridge,
Letting the rust gather beneath my fingernails,
I felt beautiful once.
  Nov 2015 M Catherine
Kay Ireland
I wrote you letters
And kept them hidden
Beneath my bed
Or in my jewellery box
Or in my shirt pockets.
Each time I found one,
I read it and then took a match to it.
It was my way
Of slowly falling out of love with you.
At least that’s what I told myself.
If you're reading this, it's about you.
M Catherine Nov 2015
my apologies
for my speechless soul
for my cliched analogies.
trust me, that wasn't the goal.
my heart seems
to speak a different code.
rather than logic, dreams
rather than smooth, the bumpy road
you deserve more than this
all the condescending words and unoriginality
crushing your spirit until I miss
your honest uncensored personality
As I sit in this car,
crowded physically but alone at heart,
even though you are so far
you still tear my mind apart.
the thought of you fills me
your laugh, your smile, your voice.
In case you couldn't see it,
I never had a choice.
It couldn't be someone
who never gave me a glance
No, now look what you've done
you've made my heart dance
                                                           ­               M.C.M

— The End —