blues and stars
love and ink
under an opal moon
darkness unravels
unwinds leaves
that fall from
trees that wander
the rain’s ghosts
sighes and
clouds of grey.

Love,  be gentle and kind,
take that rusty gun from under
my pillow and shoot me twice
in the heart so I can feel the hurt
from the first time and the pain
from the second again;
but don't bury me in the dirt
beneath your bare feet,
just burn me like the memory
of your brown soles I saw
running away, oh, so long
a time ago, I can't even remember.

Underneath these artless skies
I marry the ghost within you
because the stories are now
screaming mad, and dark,
and every time your name
rolls unto my tongue, it thunders,
and I tremble, and tremble,
and like a thousand ships set against
the tide, I will my eyes to sleep;
cold as ice, mother, pray tell
how does one go to sleep when
Thanatos is the one weaving the
blanket; rather awake than dead;
half a heart than half a soul;
tell me if I open you up I'll find anything
other than flesh, other than nothingness;
you're so vacant and uninhabited, I forget
you're not an abandoned building;
tell me how I can go to sleep
without being woken up by the ghost
of you in my head, dancing to music
we once made when we touched; I'll
revisit those little joys, and maybe I'll
understand why empty vessels make
the loudest noise.

Have you seen my head?
I think it fell off my shoulders.
And along with it rolled my thoughts.
They stumble and rattle,
Unable to be resolved.
I don't know what to do,
When just your presence makes me feel this way.
Have I stepped into a dream?
Im unable to beleive that this is real.
Where has that head gone off to,
Bringing my thoughts rolling along?

The very last person on your mind before you fall asleep is either the reason for your happiness or your pain

It's a funny thing to think,
Pain and Happiness
In such a close parameter.

It is so hard to tell,
who is which.
It makes me question, everything.

How many days was it actually pain?
How many times was I hurting myself more?
Where is the happiness I was wishing for?

Happy thoughts travel through my mind as the moon rises.
The stars illuminate across the sky,
just as the perceived happiness is in my mind.

Could my happiness be entangled in the pain?
Are the strings of my emotions being weaved,
to the point of not knowing?

The power of knowledge.
Knowledge is power.

The happiness of pain.
Pain is happiness?