You wrote in the back of your diary
You need to remember to be kinder to me
You needed to love me unconditionally
Your to do list left me cold
While I unpacked my old life
Into the current state
7 years too late

I found your diary
In a box of my old life

I made lists of my own
Remember to pack your books
Remember to return the ring
Remember to say goodbye to our dog
I tried to be so careful
Not to take what was not mine
To take memories and not take memories

Your list was harder to read
You needed to remind yourself
Of your for love me
If i had found your diary
Not 7 years too late
It would never have been
7 years to waste

Remeber to be kinder to her
Remember to love her unconditionally
Treat her with respect
You havent asked for it back
I guess she has what i lack
I guess you dont need
To be reminded
To love her

I text hi
You text hey
Instantly I wish I’d said that instead because Hi makes me sound clingy
I count the minutes between our texts
You ask how I am
I say I’m good who are you
You say not bad :)
I say that’s good :)
And we are back to square one.
Conversations of k lol cool and ya
The kind I hate
Then we play questions
And you ask me questions that are so deep, it surprises me
I’m intrigued
You’re different
I tell you the truth
About so many things I’m used to lying about
I am getting so close to telling you
My secrets
My unpretty ones
The ones I’ve been keeping
I said you know all that you need to about me
But I lied
I’m sorry
But you lied too
You text me you’ll be there when I return
Waiting for me
You might have said the sweetest things anybody has ever said to me
But you change your mind too easily
I travelled so far and thought of you
Every day I was away
I bought you something special
But you never got it
Because when I got back
You were there
But not really
You were distant
And you said remember how I liked you?
I notice you put it in past tense
Okay
That’s fine
It doesn’t consume me
At least I didn’t let myself get attached
Because usually when I lose someone
The pain never fades
At least you didn’t give me time
To fall in love with you and your lovely words
Lovely
Lovely
Lovely
You ruined the word for me
I wish I didn’t have to keep that special gift I had for you
But I can’t bring myself to get rid of it
And I used it a couple times myself so it didn’t go to waste
But now it haunts me too much to touch
So it sits on a shelf
And isn’t broken
But it’s just a little sad
Kind of like me
And what is behind the words
The words I gave you
Thank God I never told you my secrets
You couldn’t have handled them
And then that would mean I trusted you
With it all
And I really couldn’t handle losing someone
Who I trust
Because it’s worse than losing someone who I love
But still thank God I didn’t fall in love with you
I’m hiding something behind the words still though
It isn’t that bad
you didn't break me or anything
but still
I’m just a little sad.

Repost if you know the feeling

7 years of my life
Fits into 8 boxes
In a 2x3 container
20 minutes from here
And a few scattered pieces
Left lying around
I take 5 breaths a day
And 14 steps
To here and back
Its all i can do for now
While she sleeps in my bed
And pets my dog
And he cooks her dinner
In my pans
While she sleeps
In the boxers i bought him
While she closes my curtains
While she holds his hand
While she lives my life
My life that fits in a 2x3
And i sleep alone

She cant wrap her head
Around the fact
That she cant get her body to move

She cant wrap her head around
A single coherent thought

She cant understand why
Her lungs cant breathe
"Move feet, ******"

She never understood
Emptiness so completely
Until he said
He overcame his addictions
And outgrew her