she kissed me once,
in the dark corner of a bar
nobody we knew would ever walk into.
her hands were trembling,
but her lips—
god, her lips knew exactly
what they wanted.

and for a moment,
I let myself believe
she could be mine.
just for a moment.

she pulled away like she’d been caught,
looked around
at all the strangers who didn’t care,
who didn’t even see.
but she saw them.
she saw their eyes in her head
even when they weren’t looking.

“this can’t happen,” she said,
like it hadn’t already.
like I wasn’t sitting there,
still tasting her on my mouth.
“you don’t understand,” she said,
and maybe she was right.
because I didn’t understand
how you could feel something that big,
that loud,
and still pretend
you didn’t.

but I didn’t fight her.
I just nodded,
because I’d seen this before.
not with her,
but with others like her—
women who carried love
like a smuggled thing,
hidden deep in their pockets,
afraid to let it see the light.

she called me late sometimes,
when the fear wasn’t as strong
as the wanting.
we’d meet in motel rooms
on the edge of town,
where the curtains were thick
and the walls were thin.

and in those moments,
she was alive—
all fire and ache and need.
but when the sun came up,
she’d be gone before I woke,
like a ghost
afraid of being caught in the daylight.

I told her once,
“you don’t have to live like this.
you don’t have to hide.”
but she just shook her head
and said,
“not everyone is as brave as you.”

brave.
what a word for it.
it didn’t feel like bravery.
it felt like ripping myself open
over and over,
waiting for her to decide
she was ready to step out of the shadows.

but she never did.
she stayed in her closet,
her church pew,
her tight little box of shame.

and I stayed outside,
watching the door,
waiting for it to open.
but it never did.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  to is what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

What
if
I
was
just

























Gone?

In the silence of the moment, when the world fades away,
Your presence wraps around me, like the soft light of day.
No need for words between us, we’ve always understood,
That every breath we take together, is a memory of good.
We’ve painted skies in colors, no one else could ever see,
Shared secrets in the quiet, where our hearts are wild and free.
With every step you take, the world feels just a little right,
A friendship built on moments that will last beyond the night.
Grace, like ivy, we’ve wrapped ourselves in time,
In the shadows of our whispers, where the world won’t find.
In the park at midnight, where the stars were all we knew,
We counted every constellation, just me and you.
At 12 AM, our hearts would race, like time was standing still,
With every wish we whispered, the world could never break our will.
Grace, you were my universe, my dream beneath the sky,
At that moment, I believed that time could never say goodbye
We wandered through the echoes, where the world was just our sound,
In every step, we found our place, where love would always surround us.
In the quiet of the night, when the stars began to fade,
We promised each other forever, in the memories we made.
Through seasons that would change us, we remained the same,
In every storm, we found the calm, calling each other’s name.
We’d dance in fields of memories, where the light would never die,
With every step we took together, we touched the endless sky.
Grace, in every heartbeat, I feel you by my side,
Like whispers in the twilight, where no secrets can hide.
In the park at midnight, where the stars were all we knew,
We counted every constellation, just me and you.
At 12 AM, our hearts would race, like time was standing still,
With every wish we whispered, the world could never break our will.
Grace, you were my universe, my dream beneath the sky,
At that moment, I believed that time could never say goodbye
And when the world fades away, and the skies begin to fall,
I’ll still hear your voice whispering, through every shadowed call.
Grace, you’re the fire that burns, the wind beneath my wings,
In the quiet of the night, you’re the song my heart still sings.
Through the storms that try to break us, we will never bend,
For in every twist of fate, you’ll always be my friend.
No matter where we wander, no matter where we roam,
In the silence of the universe, with you, I’m always home.
You’re the echo in my chest, the pulse that keeps me alive,
In the vastness of this world, with you, I’ll always survive.
Time will try to change us, but our hearts will stay the same,
For in every fleeting moment, we’ll be forever framed.
Grace, you’re my constant star, my light in the darkest skies,
And in the end, we’ll soar together, no more goodbyes.

i wish youd let me go
so id stop hurting you

i wish youd let me go
so you dont have to see me in pain

i wish youd let me go
so you could get better

i wish youd let me go
so i stop hurting us

i wish you stay
so we get better together

there’s an
impostor
in the mirror
and she has
my smile.