You told me that I would never survive,
But survival is my middle name.

You told me that I was weak,
But I'm still here.

You told me that I was too broken to be fixed,
But I have someone who is fixing me.

You told me that I could never be loved,
But I have someone who loves me.

You told me that I could never love,
But I have someone that I love so much.

You told me that I don't have feelings,
But I have more than you.

Realizing now that I'm not okay, and that's okay

I don't want to be alright
I want to crumble like centuries
I want my limbs to whither like December
I want my treaty broken by a band of outlaws
Who can justify all the wrong that's been done with their own twisted logic

I don't want to be alright
I want to break like a wave in the night
I want my fingers to lose all feeling and all strength
I want my peace to be lost in an unjust war
Fought by soldiers who never really knew what they were dying for

I don't want to be alright
Because if I am
It will be your proof
I never really loved you
And I know I did
I don't want to be wrong

I'd rather suffer

an effervescent vortex
brief suspension before descending into an electric current
no balance
no breath
a shadow caressing your silhouette
a brief stutter
why am i here
no worth no worth no worth
tears drip
bitter
like his old cologne and year old rejection
you wear it like a new raincoat
but the electricity is still pulsing
moving moving moving
no worth
a great earthquake
shaking
suddenly aware of the emptiness
you turn and face them
concern etched into faces like a magazine
glossy
edited
trying to ignore the monster in your stomach
you open your mouth
you hope it will settle soon, but you know it can't
it's out for blood.

"i'm fine."