if you thought you were the only one
to be silent in a noisy place
if you saw yourself as helpless
in a situation you couldn't face

if the days are long but your nights are fast
if you don't know how much longer you will last
if sometimes you see yourself as less
if your life causes constant, unrelenting stress

if you realize that you deserve more (because you do)
come crawling to me, i want to comfort you
i want to sit with you and sing along to acoustic covers by Tyler Ward.
i want you to be silent or to scream loud lyrics to your favorite song.
if you need to list off all the reasons you think you're not pretty, i will (unwillingly) listen...shortly after refuting every vile lie you have just spoken over yourself. you are pretty. and you are brave.

if you must tell yourself to stick it out and be strong
if getting out of bed to face the world seems so wrong
if nothing makes sense and you see no light
if your routine is a process of holding on tight

if your scars are reminders of why you can't sleep,
if you feel so high yet you're in too deep
if your home is not a place
and freedom has no space
if you are not afraid.

if you need me, i will be right here. and if you do not, i am still here.


© Melissa Carlson 2015

dear friend,
trying to participate
falling and failing epically
perks of being seemingly invisible
to the only one you see

don't want to wake up on your own
so you accept the love you think you deserve
put them first and now you know
this is how a wallflower grows

your friends they see it, live it, breathe it
smokey parties and poorly lit rooms
synthetic happiness, the only way to get by
fragile hopes and dreams

you know everyone and no one
watching their daily lives happen
but nobody stops it takes a second look
at your wilting petals and falling leaves

below average, psychos together
"welcome to the island of misfit toys"
somehow a place of belonging
and now in this moment, you feel infinite

love always,

I wish we didn't have to pretend
I wish we could all be painfully honest
I wish I didn't have to pretend I didn't miss you
I wish could tell you that I thought of you today
I smelled the air
It was cold and crisp
You loved the cold
It smelled like fall
Fall.
I remember falling in love with you as the dead leaves fell
Everything around us was dying
But I felt like I was finally living
Fall reminds me of falling in love with you
It's so beautiful
But it in the end everything dies
The trees are left bare and cold
Just like me
Just like my heart

I grieve for humanity
Because my own may harden
I grieve for justice
Because war knows no pardon
I grieve for courage
Because with fear we may govern
I grieve for children
Because a fire burns in their garden

I want you to text me I love you when we haven't talked all day
I want an I love you in the halls at random times
I crave the syllables that bounce out of your mouth when you call me 'your girl'
But I don't want
Ily, why bother is what you're saying I can't type the extra 7 characters
Well if you can't type those extra 7 characters maybe I can't text you anymore after all too many letters
I don't want
Love ya, what are we 5? Tell me you love me or say nothing it's not that hard
If you ever dare text me I (heart emoji) u, I will delete your number, i deserve more than an emoji and two 2 letters

I deserve paragraphs of you proclaiming your love for me or even a sentence asking to talk for a little bit

I don't deserve three letter texts but after all maybe you dont deserve these two letters

Me