darling, how are you today?
i'm months into my first heartbreak
and i wonder if you're the same.
mayhaps our souls haven't crossed yet
and your eyes haven't experienced
the first touch of color
if we look at each other,
or how the red string of fate
grows shorter and shorter
as we wade into a thousand years
brought about by
our constant reincarnations.
i would wait a hundred lifetimes,
swim through a sea of heartbreaks
(like now),
go through a life where
you don't exist,
or you drive a knife to my chest,
if it means there exists such a thing—
where there is even just a single timeline
where i get to touch your lips with my fingers
and hold you in my arms as you sleep soundly,
as our hearts beat closer and closer.

how does it feel
to gaze upon a mirror and
then declare that you are not disgusted
with what you see—
your flat chest that amplifies
your heartbeats— lub dub, lub dub.
your short stature ready to be encased
in arms that would be afraid to even think
of you walking away.
your crooked teeth that would be perfect
to bite the belly of the beast.
or your short hair that your past lovers
had disapproved of,
saying that you look better with your hair longer.
it is unbearable to not be
a conventional type of symmetry,
to have jagged edges
deemed to be no longer worth saving.
how does it feel to gaze upon a mirror
and finally decide that
you have a body worth embracing.
how does it feel to be so devoted,
so in love with your own temple
that you kiss it at every given opportunity?

—12:50AM

I've no plans to write tonight
but the sound of your voice lingers
at the back of my mind—

quiet, shy, baritone
like I have never imagined.

A humid day, the sky's tears fall
in little, thin drops
and there you were—

know that I try
to be as honest as possible, but

You didn't look perfect at all.
your eyes were tired, hair slightly tousled—
were you sleeping in class?

That thought makes me chuckle—
you looked like a child in confusion.

You didn't look perfect at all.
maybe it's because Helios wasn't
caressing your face.

For now, we make do with sunlight
peeking through clouds of gray.

Have I mentioned
you look good in blue?
Maybe I will soon.

Later when my heart is still
and I can admit you make my soul ache.

But for now, I wait and wait
and honestly, darling,
I wouldn't mind waiting—

for you.

—2:12AM, 3 13

i wonder how would
your hands feel against my own

would they be cold
or would they be the type to
radiate warmth

would they be soft like a candle—
wax, unmelted, smooth—
or strong and rough, dependable

would you squeeze mine
as an assurance of love
or

would you be the type
to caress their lover's face
as you stare deep into their soul

but for today,
i'd be fine with how things are now

but i still wonder

how would your hands feel
against my own.

—12:21AM, 313 2

maaaring nasa kabilang dulo ka
ng isang napakahaba na kalsada,
at tuluyan kang nilalayo sa akin
pero maaasahan mo,

na kahit na may isang dagat pa
ng sanlibong mga mukha
na mayroong kanya-kanyang istorya
ang siyang naghihiwalay sa'tin.

babalik at babalik pa rin sa'yo.

babalik at babalik pa rin sa'yo.

—12:24AM, 313