your words were so lovely
that i never once doubted them,
i couldn’t hear the emptiness
or read into the sugar coated lies
masquerading as sincere promises

i wrote them in cursive
and dotted the i’s with little hearts,
counting on the vows to hold weight

but when i finally tested them
by throwing your “forevers” into the ocean,
they did not sink to the bottom,
instead they floated right on the surface

your guarantees
were like funhouse mirrors,
i ran in one direction
thinking it was leading me
to where i needed to be,
but i came to a dead end,
trapped and broken hearted
with your voice echoing somewhere
“i cannot mend it”

i will not let my journal
turn into pitiful pages
filled with only your name

i will carry on,
bruised by your half-truths
and with eyes full of hope,
nevertheless

I could have sworn
that my heart stopped
and my skies fell down,
the grounds swallowed the
trees and mountains in,

the stars disappeared to
thin air,
and the sun decided to
give up on life, too,

when you left
me.

You were my perfect poem
Brief but of many lessons
Our life was the perfect paradox
For love I thought we could rhyme

You hated all I ever loved,I loved all you hated
You said dirt was clean and the sun was cold
You desired tears for years
And resisted all advances of happiness

All you hated I had to forsake
For our love was at stake
But like a toddler you had fun with my feelings
Leaving our blindest love in darkness reeling

Yet my greatest victory was losing you
My severest pain was my sweetest gain
You schooled me through experience
My all-time worst teacher

You were my perfect poem
Eternity would be short to describe the undescribable
For when my hand is strong to hold the pen
Then my heart is weak to pen the words

the ghost of you lingers on my lips
the echo of your touch on the curve of my waist
I remember every shaking breath,
every sweet nothing you whispered between my thighs...
with every kiss I could taste little bits of me mixed with little bits of you mixed with the liquor you had been drinking that night
and I remember thinking that I liked the way you tasted.
then you took my hand and held it and I could see a spark in your eye that hinted of mischief and carnal desire.
and so you traced every curve of my body with your tongue
and then you painted my chest and my neck with marks that screamed, "she's mine," even if it was only for a fleeting moment.
and then the night grew old and the sun began to rise and I found myself stumbling out your door, newly addicted to the way you had made me feel.

an effervescent vortex
brief suspension before descending into an electric current
no balance
no breath
a shadow caressing your silhouette
a brief stutter
why am i here
no worth no worth no worth
tears drip
bitter
like his old cologne and year old rejection
you wear it like a new raincoat
but the electricity is still pulsing
moving moving moving
no worth
a great earthquake
shaking
suddenly aware of the emptiness
you turn and face them
concern etched into faces like a magazine
glossy
edited
trying to ignore the monster in your stomach
you open your mouth
you hope it will settle soon, but you know it can't
it's out for blood.

"i'm fine."