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  Oct 2018 Laksmi Dewi
I chased you
Until I was exhausted
So you choose to lift me
And carry me as your own
Believing you were someone
Who would finally love me
As I wished to be loved.
Time went on
My days grew greatly
And all was more than enough
Until the day came
The day awaited for all but me
The day I realized you chose me only
To stitch your cuts
And numb your pain...

I guess they were right.
Laksmi Dewi Oct 2018
Tears falling down

Heart has been shattered

Empty gaze

She was never good with words

She was never good at showing her love for him

She was drowned by the reality

She was lost

He is the sun for her

She lets herself burnt, trying to hug him

Never knew, love could be this smother

It slowly kills her



If only he knew

How much she cried

How much she hid the tears

How much the pain she felt

But he didn't care......
  Sep 2018 Laksmi Dewi
She Writes
You asked me why I like you
But I didn’t want to tell
Some of my reasons are cheesy...
But here is why I fell

I love the way your lips curve
When I make you smile
It makes me want to pull you close
And kiss you for awhile

I love the way your eyes twinkle
When you talk about things you love
I truely believe
You are a gift from above

I love that you are compassionate
You have such a big heart
That was the first thing I noticed
Right from the start

I love the way it feels
When you hold me tight
I finally feel safe
Like I could sleep through the night

I love that you don’t judge me
For my less than perfect self
That is more attractive
Than any amount of wealth

There are so many more reasons
But I’ll start with just this few
Maybe someday
I’ll give this poem to you

  Sep 2018 Laksmi Dewi
There’s been this weight on my shoulder,
Like a strike system:

Every time I do something that
I tell myself is “wrong,”
I add to this invisible weight.

Now, as it’s becoming too heavy to bear,
I realize that the only thing I’ve done wrong is punish myself for being human.  
And it’s time to stop.


Maybe it’s time to rethink
my notion of “wrongs”
And believe in the idea that
it’s okay to be imperfect.

So with these words, I finally
relinquish this burden.
I will not hold on to futility and
self-inflicted pain.
I will not spend the rest of my years in hurting in needless guilt.
I am letting go...

And I will be okay.
A note, a letter, a reminder to myself to stop and be kinder, more flexible, and less harsh with myself.
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
an amount of space between two things or people
That's what I knew of what distance means,
before I met you

Never seen distance as a barrier,
but here I am
Wishing this barrier to be vanished
and be held in your arms
right in this moment
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
I don't know how it all first started

All I knew was you came like the sun in rainy days

Joyful, warm, delightful

But I was too in love with the rain

Even when you shined brightly

But you didn't give it all up

You stayed

You were always there, when I locked myself in the dark

What a senseless silly girl, I was

What an ignorant person I was

I never knew that stranger could make me smile this wide again

I never knew that stranger could make me laugh this much

I never knew that stranger could make me feel loved

I never knew that...

I would fell for that person who was a stranger to me

I once told myself

I promised myself not to involve your feeling into anyone or anything

But I guess I'm just fooling myself as the clock ticking

The more we talked, the deeper I fell for you

I couldn't help myself but to let myself fell

Hoping you would catch me

But, again, I forgot that someone said that falling is hurt

But I'm loving every minute of it

I enjoyed every pieces of my heart that had been shattered

Hoping that you would heal me

But, expectation is a cruel *******

You never get what you want

It only leads you to another brokenheart

So I stay here, with every pieces left, trying to build walls

And go back to my old self
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