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Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
I walked through the lonely road and all I saw was darkness.
"Why am I here?", I asked myself.
I felt like I've been here yesterday.
Was it a dejavu?
The road was so empty, yet all I heard was a woman screaming for help.
I couldn't see the light in the end of the road.
I couldn't find the woman.
I couldn't do anything until I realized it was me.
It was me, the woman who screamed for help.
Now I can see her clearly, my reflection.
The calm on her face is an ongoing sin.
I know, it's all a lie.
I still can hear the sounds of her screaming, it's resonancing.
She says, "Please remove the mask I've been wearing for the past few years"
With a smile in her face, she continues "I've been waiting for someone to remove it, but no one care enough to remove it"
I begin to ask myself "Why do I let this happen to myself?"
How can I love someone else more than I love myself.
Most people just turn the other cheek.
Most people wouldn't care.
Most people turn their back and go.
They've been doing it for years.
But I must face the pain I see, in my own reflection.
  Sep 2018 Laksmi Dewi
Poetoftheway
,how do you know when
(a human is too broken?)




<•>

human too broken?

like the light bulb, removal from its fixture, a simple shaking revelation of the tinkling filament spent, something that cannot be repaired, the only option is replacement and that makes
you cry

the empty box of oatmeal raisin cookies, you find secret’d,
hid by you, not to be found by you
at the bottom of the kitchen garbage,
but box betrayal, by the chartreuse tipped box lid sided
peeking upwards, asking, silencing screaming,
what did I do to deserve
this degrading

like the blouse now too tight that it brings stares as the buttons strain, unwelcome attention unintended,
you know it but still pretend not to see,
for you both once loved that silky guise that so
heightened the high tender, the match of your pink rose skin letting, no! making
your eyes glisten, like broken filament glass, on the sidewalk,
recalling the pleasured admiration,
rain remembered from the
prior priority of a life consisting of only
perfect gifts

so mean revert to the poseur question; this is how...

remove the human from a fixed place, whimpering-threatened,
you may hear clear the crackle cackling  of the innard shards against the misperception of a body intact,
even if you do,
no repair service you want,  can be found, see it nowhere,
is it even
anywhere advertised?

the body presumed intact is secret’d under a tactile coverlet,
holey scupperrd holy cuttered
so that the cells and bicuspids, the threads
no longer function in a tandem,
you keep it in the closet closed,
in the back, deep hid, where,
when it screams why,
it can be safe ignored,
because  ‘betrayed’ is no longer a word,
in your globe's dictionary,
the parental controls activated by you to
save your own inner child’s unconstrained confusion,
it has been removed


so the broken glass, the clothes you dressed each other,
if not weep-well,
well enough hid,
the fit is off,
the fit is off,
the coverlet ripped so bad and neither cares
an unexpected poem, unplanned, needing work
aug 4-5
  Sep 2018 Laksmi Dewi
James LR
For better or for worse,
My heart is in your hand.
I choose to put you first.

Just ask me to, and I'll rehearse:
That by your side, I choose to stand
For better or for worse.

Give me thy pains to nurse,
And let me help you understand
That I still choose to put you first.

Bring me joy, slake my thirst,
As I walk with you through this land
For better or for worse.

Be this a blessing or a curse,
My soul is searéd with Love's brand.
So let me choose to put you first.

My heart with thy love doth now burst.
The trials of life, we will withstand.
And so for better or for worse,
Know I will always put you first
My first villanelle
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
I could see my arms wrapped around the world
But didnt seem to keep you inside
My arms were just another alternative
To you

How do you explain this kind of feeling?
Caring
Worrying about someone
All I want to do is to save him

I've heard one said,
"In order to care for another,
you must first want what they want,
feel what they feel,
and know what they need."

Maybe, I'm just too conceited, arrogant, rude, and ignorant
I caused so many chaos
An ego trip
A never ending debate
Can't seem to decide
Which side is right, which side is wrong
Yet, the arguments remain

Or maybe,
Maybe, the words that came from my mouth
are just another empty words that have no meaning
at all.
Laksmi Dewi Sep 2018
Once upon a solitude night in September
I caught the shadow of a stranger
It left me with a puzzled mind and a puzzled heart
Trying to figure it all at once
I kept questioning "Who is he? Is he real? Is he just a lie I make for myself?"
Clueless me, with a soul of a centaur, seeking for a truth
I walked into his shadow, slowly
Didn't know it'll take me to the real shape of someone, someone real
I looked at him
And it felt like epiphany

Once upon an ineffable day in October
The sun was shining and setting blissfully
We talked, he looked at me right in my soul
What a familiar stranger you were
Such a perfect contradiction
Dark and bright
Cold and warm
A serious man and a playful child
I felt like I don't know him but yet it felt like I knew him from the start
He rescued me from deserted, hopeless space where I once belong
And he was no more a stranger to me

Once upon a day in mid-November
The lightning strucked from every stance
Everything seemed to have fallen apart
and the darkest past still run to chase both of us
That's when I knew, even before I realized
that maybe I fell for him
with every pieces that remains

And now, in the end of cold December
I will ask him
To consider being my partner in crime
to help me continue writing our story
It might be blindingly beautiful
It could also be terribly tragic
but maybe
We will be some of the lucky ones
who will one day find a true bliss
Hopefully

— The End —