Lady Grey

Lady Grey Nov 2017

I like to say “Goodnight” aloud,
Every night,
Before I go to sleep
(When I remember).

Not for myself, of course,
But for anyone,
Or anything,
That might be listening.

Not to God,
If that’s what you’re thinking,
Though I am open
To the possibility.

But rather,
To the demons of my day;
My little fears and regrets,
So that they might shut up,

And leave my dreams the **** alone.

Something I actually do, the poem was inspired by a friend's writing

#dreams #demonskindof #fears #regrets #leavemealone #goodnight

Lady Grey Nov 2017

Stars in Her Eyes

She’s got stars in her eyes
But not the good kind, no,
The kind she hides behind her smile
She laughs and jokes, of course,

But she’s a little off today
I can see it
It’s in the slump of her shoulders
When no one’s looking,

And the way she stares into the distance
When there’s a pause in the conversation

I wish she wouldn’t
I wish she was as happy as she says she is,
When I know she’s not

She’s got the blues today
Her parents don’t help
This morning when she got out of the car
She had to put up that wall

To make everything seem alright
When it’s really not

She’s got stars in her eyes,
But not the good kind, no,
The kind i would take away in an instant if I could
If only I could.

Something I noticed about a friend of mine

#friend #tears #familyproblems #sadness

Lady Grey Nov 2017

Treading Carefully

I wonder what I’ll blame it on this time.
       Thorns in the woods?
No… they’re too high up for that.
                  Maybe I just tripped and fell?
Nah. That’s just stupid
                            What about the cat?
…
                                                 That might work

They’ll have to heal and fade before I let my parents see them…
                                 I guess they’ll find out the truth sooner or later.
              I don’t want to drag them into this
I don’t want them to treat me differently…
                            I definitely don’t want to tell the therapist.

But the way things are going…

                                              May end badly...

                                             If i’m not careful.

                      Something needs to change,
        But I don’t want it to.
I don’t want to see the disappointment and fear
                              In their faces
                              In their voices

I don’t want them to treat me like i’m going to break at the slightest touch
          I don’t want them to worry about me
                                   They have enough to worry about.

                                            I just have to be careful,
     And maybe everything will turn out ok.

                                                     I hope it will.

#hoping #depression #anxiety #impliedselfharm #blame

Lady Grey Oct 2017

This Vicious Cycle

All this dread and regret is getting out of hand
It’s staining my skin
Seeping through my hair
Contaminating the walls,
The floors,
Everything i touch

They go hand in hand, you know...
I dread things i shouldn’t give a second thought to,
And regret my choices later on--
I don’t know why

It’s so **** hard

It’s a vicious cycle
  And it’s out of control

My mind just won’t let me do things
That i really ought to do
Because i know i’m only going to **** it up later
I know
I know
I can’t do it

So when it’s time to pay my dues
I prove myself right
And sink further into the
Suffocating cloud
Of regret.

#dread #regret #accumulation #outofcontrol #depressing #viciouscycle