when you're 18 going on 9-5
and you watch the volcanic birth of the rest of your life
rise from a still ocean
you almost wish
there were resignation letters
for living.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew you shattered my peace of mind.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew you destroyed my self-confidence.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew that seeing your face sends a shiver down my spine.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew what we thought about you now.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew that you crossed my mind every day.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew i was simply trying to avoid change.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew i forced myself to feel something.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew i used you just like you used me -  but you used me knowingly.

i wonder what you would say if..
you knew that like you, i was just afraid of being alone.

i wonder what you would say if..
the tables were turned on you.

i wonder what you would say if..
*i said i never loved you.

When did you last lay in breezy orchards,

naked, sunshine glazing your curves in amber,

heaped between fallen apples, tickled by alfalfa,

peeking through a tangle of someone else's hair.

When did you last lay beneath starry sky,

afloat in empty fields, grain waving like oceans do

peering above, your vision consumed by an expanse of stars,

two bodies shivering under one blanket.

When did you last hold your breath,

struggling to slow time in that one aging moment

and you would gladly let the world grow old without you.

Freeze.

Still.

Forever.

Just five more minutes.

Everything is about to change.
Whether it's for better or for worse is unknown to me.

When it rains, it pours, and opens doors.

You've restored something in me that nobody else has been able to revive.
How do I begin to thank you?

No words do this just
It shall remain underwritten
But to sum it all up;
Darling, I'm smitten