I am a hallowed out book An ornate casing that should hold beauty between its walls Instead, emptied of emotion And often filled with drugs, *****, and unthinkable secrets
My pages are torn out The words that should be used to express my thoughts have been desecrated I will never be complete again Where my story once was, now fragments of pages with sazerac stains are found
The few memories left wrapped around the flask when this whole mess began Were soon torn off in desperation And rolled into funnels to fuel late nights' bad decisions
I don't know how many times I've told you that I'm fine with it. And I think part of the reason I've reassured you so much is because I'm also reassuring myself. Thing is, I'm lying through my teeth. And, God, it hurts. I am so tired of feeling like I'm second best. I'm tired of broken promises and I'm tired of never coming first. I'm tired of salty streaks running down my cheeks and I'm tired of being so ******* confused. I'm not fine with it. I'm not fine with it. I'm not fine.