Victim
Survivor

Two words
Could describe two people
Or two different versions
                                               of the same person

Victim
What others made you
What some continue
To make themselves

This doesn’t happen in a vacuum
Without reason
Without incentive

Victims garner attention
Sympathy
Kindness

Everyone needs attention
Sympathy
Kindness

But eventually
The spectacle fades
Attention wanes
The world moves on

And the victim
Has no new identity
On which to stand

Survivor
What you make yourself
You may be given this label by others
But only you can define
what it means

Each day
Each moment

Ultimately a choice needs to be made
To live in the past
Be what others made you

Or live in the future
Be the vision you make
Of yourself

Survivor
Victim

Two words
Interlocked
Two very different realities
Inextricably linked

Which do you choose?

Each day
Each moment

Your choice yesterday
Need not determine
Your choice tomorrow

We are not given a choice about the first identity

Don’t relinquish your choice
To embrace the second
To be self-defined

Ripples through time
Perturbations
                           in the world around you
Originating
                      In word
                      In deed

Circles ever widening
Of influence
And impact

Even when we are gone
From the room
Or from the world
                                  In body
                                  In spirit

Our ripples spread

Merge with others
Shape them
As they go on
To shape others

Even when we are gone
Even when we are forgotten

Remember

Your ripples move on
Merge
Intersect
Transform

But always spreading
Through time

Choice
Responsibility
Interlocking concepts
But rarely as simple
                                     as cause and effect

We always have a choice
To act
           To react
                          To endure
                                             To survive

Choice is a source of power
It can’t be taken away by another

Don’t believe them when they say
“You have no choice”
Even if they
are you

But our choices alone
                                       are rarely the only cause
                                                           ­                        of our circumstances

Other peoples’ choices
The systems we must navigate
Our environments and ecosystems, human-built and beyond
All contribute to determine
                                                  the fertility of the soil
                                                                ­                         from which our range of choices grow

In fertile soil
Choices abound

But even in barren soil
You still must choose
To act
To react
To endure
To survive
While holding onto hope
                                              for future change

Through intention
Through community
Through action

To believe that your choices alone
Are responsible for an outcome
Whether fortunate
Or dire

Is the height of arrogance
Born of a need to feel in control
Of the world around you

We all should be held accountable for our choices
But take care
How you parcel out responsibility
                                                              an­d blame

To yourself
To others
With awareness of the state of the soil
                                                                ­     from which those choices grew

I am
the center

The center
Of the world
Of the universe

My universe,
                        at least

For who else could I be
But me?

I see the world
Through my own eyes
                the lens of my own experiences
                the shades of my own perceptions

I feel only
through my own heart

Just like we all do

If we each are the center
Of our own universes
What happens when universes collide?

Will I see through your eyes?
Feel through your heart?
Or will I don blinders?
Deny your world’s existence?

If you believe that seeing the worlds of others
Only expands your own

Then come
Explore the multitudes of universes
Each of us centered in our own
But ever seeking
                               new eyes
                               new hearts
                               new worlds

The role of a savior
Is a comfortable one for me
Familiar
Safe

Tempting
Because we think
If you’re part of the
                                     solution
Then you can’t be
part of the
                    problem

Of course
This is a false dichotomy

Many of us are part of the problem
While simultaneously trying
to be part of the solution

There may be a place for a solitary savior
In certain moments
For specific circumstances
Fleetingly

But lasting solutions
Substantive change

Come from a multitude of voices
Saving themselves
And each other

I strive to find my place in that group
Use my voice to add strength to the collective
Without drowning out those around me

Trust breaking

With a bang of sound
Shards exploding in all directions

Or with slow corrosion
One drip at a time

Until it finally
                           fully
                                      snaps

Trust is the framework
Upon which we build
Relationships
Expectations
Dreams

Everyday things like
Pick up when I call
Do it if I ask

Extraordinary things like
Travel great distances just to be near you
Even when nothing can be done
Be with you as you bear the weight of your pain
To share the load

How do we mend the breach
When trust is broken

I know there are ways
Methods to span the distance
Rebuild the framework
Patch the hole
To start again

But ignoring its existence
Pretending all is as it was before

The boom
Or the drip

Leaves a bad taste in the mouth
Questions in the mind
Shaky ground on which to stand

Will I have to span this distance alone?
Pretend the ground is solid
When there’s nothing but air

That kind of pretense only lasts so long
Before strength gives out
The truth is revealed
And we are both left free falling
                                                           disconnected
                                                                                      through space

Guilt can become a habit
Cold comfort
Familiar
And safe

Whether it is from what you did
Or didn’t do
Intended
Or didn’t intend

Whatever the source
The guilt implies
That it was in your power
To change the outcome
Control the impact

When often the things we feel most guilty about
Are the things we have least control over

Guilt can be used to control
“This is all your fault”
Masking the fact
That fault can always
Be spread around
By changing your perspective

Or it can be the excuse we give ourselves
To not try again
To let a relationship fade
“It’s for their own good, I’m the problem”
Instead of
Seeking forgiveness
Asking for change
Of ourselves
Of others

Guilt paralyzes
Trapping us in the past
Saping strength we need
To move on
Make change
Seek resolution

Guilt can sometimes be a valuable teacher
Calling our attention to times when we made mistakes
Hurt others
Hurt ourselves

You can use these lessons to inform
What you do
How you think
How you interact
In the future

Concentrate on these lessons
But let go of the guilt
It benefits no one
Changes nothing

Beware the trap
Of believing you always have control
Even if that belief comes in the form of guilt that you failed
To do
Or not to do

When other peoples’
Actions
Intentions
Responses
Motivations
Are in the mix

No one person can control the outcome
Or the impact

All that any of us can really control is
Our actions
Our intentions
Our responses
Our motivations
                                moving forward