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I can't sleep
it just won't come
the dark won't  take me
the songs still hum
they won't go quiet just for a while
so I can lay down my head
and dream of a smile
a smile so far away I can hardly see her
but then she's there and I can sleep again
but just for a bit and then it slips away like one of the mer,
and I just can't sleep
and the dark won't take me
to the blue, black deep.
"I'm fine" is how I say "I'm dying"
and if you take the time to see the lie
you'll find that I'm not fine.
"I'm just tired" is how I say "I'm a liar"
and if you can see through the fire
you'll see I'm a liar
and I'm not just tired
I'm an addict,
And I'm addicted to you.
You, my anti-depressant.
You, my painkiller.
And I'm addicted to you.
 Oct 2015 Samantha DeWitt
Lottie
We're going to see the world through each other's eyes as well as our own and we are going to be just swell. :)
I'm so so scared
I'm so so afraid
I'm scared of failing
I'm scared of losing the ones I love
I'm scared of dying
I'm scared of being left behind
I'm scared of my knife
I'm scared of my life
But I'm terrified of myself
Of my mind
Of what happens when I listen to my voices
Of what happens when I'm left alone
Of what happens when I can't control my mind
Or my body
Or when I have a fit
Just what I'm scared of. No one really knows (including me) what happens when I have fits. I don't remember what I do or say and I can't think clearly. It's so scary
what if your guardian angel is actually your soul mate that died before they could meet you?
Some times just before you fall asleep that feeling you have like you are safe and warm,
its your soul mate giving you a goodnight kiss
and tucking you in
whispering in your ear how much they love you
and to sleep well and
they will see you in the morning
and when you wake up they are right there with you
helping you thru the day
holding your hand as you walk down the street and going out to lunch with you and your friends.
Imagine you decide to stay in that night and they smile and laugh because they have you all to them selfs.

Or when you are sad curled up on the bathroom floor they are sitting next to you telling you not to cry that every thing will be okay.
How do you think they would feel if you cut your wrists or your leg, think of how they would feel not being able to hold you and for you to hear them say that its okay to not be okay and they are here for you,
that even tho you are down now you will get better that life has its ups and downs and you will be okay.

How do you think they would feel if you where standing on the edge of a bridge at an open window,
or with a knife in you hand ready to open you veins and poor out your blood,
think of how they would feel,

what if they where standing next to you yelling at you begging for you not to jump
to put the knife down
and fight just so you will see the world as they never could.
Because even tho you would be together in death
they want for you to live
for you to have the opportunity to love another
to see and do all that you want.
Because life is short and you would have all of your after life to fall in love with them.    -HBN
just something I came up with when I was bored
for you
I will hold on
for you
I will fight
for you
I will smile and laugh
for you
I will sleep at night
for you
I will put down the knife
for you
I will sing again
for you
I will...stop
I promise
I promise
I'm so sorry
I didn't mean to hurt you
but the pain was to much
and I just wanted it to stop
to let up
to let me go
I'm so sorry
that I caused you pain
I wil try harder next time
I'm sorry sweetheart
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