always carrying a stoic expression
cemented.
until you see someone you'd like to get with
or one of your favorite snakes.
you radiate a black presence
a dark storm that tears up the halls
that only rarely
shines light through.

i wasn't sure why you sat next to me.
in my most important class.
but i never asked,
in fact, it never bothered me.

it wasn't until my best friend told me
that you admired me.
my passion.
my strive.
my dedication,
why didn't you tell me?
i'm sure id light your face up,
with my smile,
with pink dust cascading over my cheeks.

your worth is defined by others.
whatever they believe,
you believe.
a feeding tube attached directly to head and to your heart.
with poison.
with lies.
with nonsense.
none of the words that you say,
are yours.
stolen.
it's almost as if you built yourself a wooden house,
and without a second thought,
doused it with gasoline,
and lit it on fire.

in your eyes,
my worth is no more than an animal.
a dead one.
i'm simply here at your disposal,
for your pleasure,
whenever you'd like.

too bad i don't conform
to the norm of my age
clubbing and drinking till i stumble home
you've tried to convince me.
and you'll keep doing so,
until you can have me.
between your bedsheets,
covered in shameful marks,
just so you can boost your ego and compare to your friends.

from the minute i open my eyes,
the fixation overwhelms any other thoughts.
it never goes away.
my nose twitches simply at the thought.
it's too late.
my brain chemistry,
has already been altered.
so shut up,
and get me my fix.