Why do i feel, nothing?
I can't, without things to prove I do exist
I do, become more just so I can feel something
I have become so removed from joy like a cyst

When can I be seen, valuable as I am?
Slow deaths mock souls, not worth the torture
I exist so I can fit into their hologram.
I create, talk, walk so I won't die in the future

All these rules of existence divorce my soul
I can play the game to rule in their world
At the expense of my inner peace with this toil
They cage my soul while I exist to be furled

What can we do, we are to be dirt once again?
Play hide & seek with me...count one to ten.

I am offended you felt safe enough to reapproach me.
I catered my full presence to connect with you fully.
I was ready to receive your fullness on a platter
But you spit on my time and heart.

I am offended you felt safe to have the audacity!
To keep fantasizing about my meandering wonders
To keep touching what requires your devotion to access
The spirit of siphons, I see you in Flesh

I am offended you want to exchange air with me
I need it cleaned up, purified by the worthy
Those who don't need a debate to see my humanity
Those who value my existence without saying a word
Yet you require me to play your games for just a text?

I am offended you're still lingering
Your words are fertilizer for the naive
Toilet paper for my yams
Predatory behavior is cool for the wounded
That makes you a carcass and I a vulture

I am offended you're still reading.
Get back on your knees
Beg for mercy!
Maybe I'll leave a trace you ever existed!

This baby wants her mama and papa too!
But, I had to stand between you and the heartbreak of not being fully met by my first loves.
For your own good!

You deserve to be loved well.
Even if it takes you away from them.
Even if you grieve.
The illusion of love doesn't feed your soul.
You can't relate with pretend ghosts.

I see you lil one,
envying those who have what you didn't.
It won't make the pain any sweeter.

Look at what you've become in spite of the eerie.
This is the only proof you exist.

devotion,
presence,
faith,
trust and,
unconditional love.
All the hues that made you, you

We all have to start somewhere to reflect our stories in their brilliant colors.
Some paintings are joyful,
Some are sad.
Doesn't make either less true.

This baby wants to give you Mama and papa.
I give you what they couldn't.
The best of me I can be.

Please let me in.
I want to love me.

It rose in me when I craved my parents' emotional support the most

Chaos, help me escape my emotional inflictions

Fear on with the beatings echoing in the background, the beating down below protected me

Year on, she was my safety next until I met Him

Here on, all my disrespect to Eros because clearer

Dear boss, don't judge me harshly. I was just trying to survive.

He rose to point back at what I fractured in order to belong


Ear rots when others shame my evolving ****** healing

Near us are those who reject her medicine

Hear us as we speak from the aliveness of this pulse in our bodies

Cheer us as I come back to love unconditionally this gear box

Steer us deeper my current of devotion
Erosion from self rejection can't touch us now

From all the times my voice drowned in the noise
Struggling to not collapse
Failing to advocate for myself
Blaming myself for what wasn't in my poise

Strained to prove my existence
I became what I had to (be) to survive my parents
Finally I broke free from them
I'm bittersweet
this part that loved me so has come to its end
I don't have to drown in them anymore,
All thanks to your protection

When the little girl (in me) realized the full situation she incarnated into
The Gods who had gifted her life had Big Demons, Siphon and Gaslight.
They baptized her in the Enmeshment System
So she too could give birth to more fractured faces.

What place does the world have for a black sheep? When it's parents conditional love is traditional?

When her value was tainted by the inherited demons, why should she keep it traditional?

Can you hear her faint cries? "Hear me please!" Anyone! Don't let anyone landfill her with dark heep.
Don't expect her to show up as her best to be traditional!