It rose in me when I craved my parents' emotional support the most

Chaos, help me escape my emotional inflictions

Fear on with the beatings echoing in the background, the beating down below protected me

Year on, she was my safety next until I met Him

Here on, all my disrespect to Eros because clearer

Dear boss, don't judge me harshly. I was just trying to survive.

He rose to point back at what I fractured in order to belong


Ear rots when others shame my evolving ****** healing

Near us are those who reject her medicine

Hear us as we speak from the aliveness of this pulse in our bodies

Cheer us as I come back to love unconditionally this gear box

Steer us deeper my current of devotion
Erosion from self rejection can't touch us now

From all the times my voice drowned in the noise
Struggling to not collapse
Failing to advocate for myself
Blaming myself for what wasn't in my poise

Strained to prove my existence
I became what I had to (be) to survive my parents
Finally I broke free from them
I'm bittersweet
this part that loved me so has come to its end
I don't have to drown in them anymore,
All thanks to your protection

When the little girl (in me) realized the full situation she incarnated into
The Gods who had gifted her life had Big Demons, Siphon and Gaslight.
They baptized her in the Enmeshment System
So she too could give birth to more fractured faces.

What place does the world have for a black sheep? When it's parents conditional love is traditional?

When her value was tainted by the inherited demons, why should she keep it traditional?

Can you hear her faint cries? "Hear me please!" Anyone! Don't let anyone landfill her with dark heep.
Don't expect her to show up as her best to be traditional!

i do not know what i feel
the void in my heart echoes defeat

all i ever wanted was a loving home
yet nothing seems to catch up to my desire
seems im only getting further away from it

nomatter how much i try to gaslight myself
the truth is always staring me back in my solar
i know what i know yet i can't
if i do, i'll be the one responsible for it

this is all too much to bear alone
my therapists can only do so much, im impatient
i want resolution right now

i just want the same warm arms to consistently feel safe at home.

what if i was never meant to experience this?
and it's just wishful thinking?
will my life only amount to desiring and watching others get it instead?

i did everything right with my heart
yet i feel my life doesn't reflect the depths of my being
what is missing?

my worth, my certainty
they evade me when i need them the most
what will become of me in this timeline?
noway to know but surrender to the flow of life happening as me
so I lament

Even though they control my *****,

claim over my lootie,

and they attempt to gaslight my sovereign multifrequency

I haven’t forgotten I am a certified Duesy!

You’re bumming off me, little mousie.

Even if you thought I was a loosy,

I adore my *****.

I mean just look at the way it oozes,

sweet nectar that makes you goosey!

I’m too busy

keeping you alive from my *****.

Orgasming at light speed to my divine presence, to behold you’d require a diamond koozie.

Call yourself a flouzy

for not respecting this sequency.

If you truly had one too, you’d understand why I am reclaiming my dignity.

They want to own what they do not revere in secrecy.

I can’t be bothered to slow down for you to drain my juicy.

I am too in love with my *****.

They try very hard to downplay my power, so sussy.

Bow down or drown in this *****!

Ordained into structured flowies,

life is mine, fulfillment With me can be so easy.

But if you’re not with this *****,

don’t get too close you Will get dizzy!



So much life is brewing inside my *****.

It’s ironic, all these dictators came through my *****.

My lips spit you out even though you pretend to be so bossy.

True Power can’t be manipulated you fool, I’d be triggered too if my mind was that lousy!

Are you put off yet, *****?

Awww, don’t be so fussy!

Thaw that heart out it’s too icy.

GET OUT of my *****,

go elsewhere to be pissy!

Just not on my planet crazy,

you’re on your last mercy!

naive as a dog,
I opened my heart to my God

my heart was broken, so i inverted reality,
didn't want to die yet, wanted to be good enough for her.

i dreamed in the hive of the sweet nectar of unconditional love

instead coldness dove into this heart, had to throw away that probability.
my blinds could see how fearfully we worshiped her.

no more hope, we abandoned self care.
my safest space became fantasy.
**** was ecstasy,
where this addict could dare.

don't mean to blame my bully for my choices
but something had to be done about the emotional taxing

wouldn't hold her horses,
so we validated her darkness through our habits.
now safer from the devil's approaching,
distance, a decade without her soul poaching.
now free from her torment, i frolic with the rabbits.

success I have created for myself,
free from the inner critic personified as herself,

I transform my pain into art.
I dug out everything that was in my heart.
I now know I really exist,
in this new love bubble FINALLY nothing to fix.

from wholme, i sadly understand my first bully.
mother wasn't taught less than being unruly.
i feel her drowning in her demons truly,
all she could do is clench onto my radiance poorly.

in my own castle panting, still my heart beats for her newly.