live as if
you have nothing
of everything

I took a walk with life today
and found that we
are all connected.
I took it’s gentle hands and
whispered calmly beneath my breath:

“you are beautiful”

and then all at once-
the constant commotion
unfolding around me
came to a surrender.

I found myself staring at
solutions and all of the
questions that follow.

I am floored
by how simple
life can be.

There are no answers
and this is the
meaning to
everything.

We live and
we breathe and
we hold on until
it’s time to
let go.

This is not a cycle.

This is not
evolution.

This is not aging
just to die
and this is not
the human condition.

This is the experience.

This is the lifetime.

This is what we are
granted.

I long for a comfort
that I will never feel
and resent it
for it never being so.

I wonder how long
I have to go
and even then-

I am wrong.

There is so much
going on
and the cars keep
hauling
and the grass
keeps growing
and the moon keeps
setting and
the sun keeps
rising and

the story
goes.

I am not immortal
and I cannot capture
every moment
as I’d like to
and I know that
this is
okay
but as long
as I’m alive-

I’ll continue to strive
for something
better than
myself.

Even if it’s
not what I
deserve.

I found you 
Found your arms in the secrecy of an encroaching dusk 
In the shade of trees 
The coveted corners of quiet  
I found the hidden pieces of your soul 
As they sat beside mine 
In the comfort of silence 
Whispering through the air promises of belonging  
Of two broken pieces becoming a whole 
Two unknowns becoming the known 
Two wrongs finally becoming one right 

You found me 
As your delicate fingers ran across my skin 
Laced through the curls of my hair 
Carefully stitching the gaping caverns of suspicion in a doubtful heart 
Placing together shattered confidences with a tender touch 
Holding them firmly with the power of your affection. 
We built each other as reflections of ourselves 
As better forms of the shadows we'd learned to become 

We found each other 
With skin upon skin  
Fingers entwined 
A world away from the troubled minds we used to live in  
We found each other 
Together 
We found peace 
We discovered love.

currently wishing
my uber driver would shut the **** up for half a minute

I just want to listen
to Joy Division
in silence;
with nothing
but the pressure
of my inescapable apathy

please shut up;
I really don't care
that two children were hit
by a tractor trailer this morning,
only a bit jealous.
I never thought I'd meet
someone as lonely as me,
but the continual conversation
that you regurgitate
proves otherwise.
I wish I could be
taken out
by a tractor trailer -
at this point,
I'll settle for anything.

uh-huh
yeah
really
no way

I feel as though this trip
is a metaphor
for my waking life:
just a blur of scenery
flying by,
while a stranger
makes noises at my depression -
and I just,
uh-huh
yeah
really
no way

I hate how
I hate everything

hate
how lonely I am

how regardless
of who
surrounds me,
        comforts me,
                loves me,
I still feel like I'm alone

welcome to the void