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Kait Sep 2019
The tiredness that sank into his bones felt so real.

He had no reason to feel exhausted, yet he was.

He rolled out of bed, exhausted.

He went to school, exhausted.

He did everything a good scholar should, exhausted.

Nothing felt energizing.

Everything was another chore on his mental list.

The anxiety of who he was curled in his stomach.

He peered into the mirror, anxious.

He compared his body, anxious.

He thought about what he said, anxious.

He pondered his every action, anxious.

Nothing felt right.

Everything incited an internal panic.

The sadness weighed heavily on his shoulders.

He stayed up at night, feeling blue.

He stayed quiet when out with friends, feeling blue.

He ate constantly, feeling blue.

He immersed himself in his work, feeling blue.

Nothing felt exciting.

Everything was dissatisfying.
males have mental health issues too
Kait Apr 2019
It's easy

to pretend

not to see

all the darkness

that lies within

Kait Apr 2019
I told him to get his hands off me.
He did not care, and I did not try again.
Because the bruises from last time have yet to fade.
And now I have scars that will never go away.

The first time he made me leave my friends,
I should have ignored him.
Instead, I listened, I became submissive.

I should have told him to go away,
Done my best to leave him.
I should have talked to someone about him,
But he made me feel so afraid.

Afraid that no one cared,
Or that I deserved it.
Or that I had done something wrong
And just not known it.

He made me feel like everything was my fault,
Even when I could not control it.
The weather, traffic, you name it,
I was made to feel responsible for it.

He controlled me in a way no one should.
He beat me just because he could.
He knew I would not tell,
And he knew that I was afraid of life without him.

I had put up with him for so long,
I no longer knew any better.
I was pathetic, "a wretch of a woman,"
That's what he had always said.

Free will was not an option,
As the only Will that was important to me was,
"Will this be the day he goes too far?
Will I be able to protect my family?"

All the heartbreak, all the anguish.
I was just a pawn in his twisted game.
Just a thing to beat and manipulate.

I clawed my way through each day,
Kept my head down sometimes,
Tried not to step on a land mine.
But every topic was a land mine, and I was clumsy.
I started out writing this about anxiety and personifying it as a male, but as I went, it started to become more of a tale of domestic abuse. Honestly, to me, anxiety is sometimes like an abusive spouse, so read it whichever way you prefer.
Kait Apr 2019
I do not know what I am doing anymore
I am quite unsure
Of the path that I want to take
Or the path I need to take

I want to go
Far Away
Run like Hell
To get Away

From all of my responsibilities
From all the pressures
That I find myself under

My chest, it hurts
I cannot breathe
These things are going too fast
In slow motion

Like my life is in the rotation
Turning and turning
Into a mess
I cannot contain it

I am ******* depressed
Kait Mar 2019
It creeps out at night and
lurks around the corners of your dreams.

It is the reason you cannot sleep.

It jumps around the gaps in your brain.
It slithers and writhes through the folds.

It is the reason you question everything.

It screams until you can think no more.
It causes you to pace instead of being in bed.

It is the reason your shoes have lost their tread.

It nags you to run and not look back.
It tugs on your sleeve in worry.

It is the reason you believe in dangers you cannot perceive.

It clenches your stomach and causes it to bind.
It is the slug forming a lump in your throat.

It is the reason you don't say words, but choke.
Kait Mar 2019
The Sadness gets to me

It eats me up inside.

It makes me feel Guilty

For things that coincide.

Every single Moment

I feel I am wrong.

I am Here instead of There

And Here is where I should be.

But There is so important

It makes me feel Guilty.

I cannot turn back now

For I am building my future.

But the Thought of not being there

Makes me feel like my heart needs sutures.

I can only Hope

That I can be There

Before I have to say Goodbye.

For if I am Here

And not There

I will want to Wallow and Die.
Kait Feb 2019
The two creatures are coworkers;
They perform the same job.

The two received their paychecks;
The elephant let out a sob.

She had gotten a glimpse of the rhino's,
out of the corner of her eye.

And the disbelief and unfairness
was enough to make her cry.

He made twenty cents more than her;
Although, they performed the same work.

Her coworker too was shocked;
He decided to not act like a ****.

He demanded they see their boss,
to make a case for higher pay.

Their boss seemed amused,
and only had one thing to say:

"Elephants are not rhinoceros,
thus I do not see the problem.
But if you have any serious inquiries, Mr. Rhinoceros,
I would be happy to help you solve them."
I've recently studied the pay gap, and this was born from my mind. The ridiculousness of such a thing just seemed to belong in a short story-like poem with animals for comical effect.
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