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every day I judge myself
too this, too that
not good enough

but I know
I am not impartial
I'm not qualified to judge

but if not me, then who?
since I'm the only one that I can't lie to
if I'm honest
that is just another layer of denial

and who gave me this idea
that I should be judged by people?
people judging people
people who invented good and evil

or is that older than us?
animals know who they love
I think they understand blame
I think they understand shame

we give it more than a name
we give it so much power
sometimes we give it everything
and we are given
in exchange

someone to name
someone to blame
someone to hurt
someone to shame

an echo chamber full of hate
a broken mirror in a frame

I guess I am afraid
that if I treat myself
with more respect
the mob will turn on me
with one voice

"HOW DARE YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF?"

as if they care about me
right?
they must have bigger fish to fry
some people set the world on fire
some people commit genocide

so what would really happen
if one day I just stopped judging me
telling me I'm too this, too that, not good enough
and let me be

and build a real alliance with myself
built on trust
built on love

don't need to be
better than me

good enough is good enough
 Apr 11 Ken Pepiton
irinia
words have orbit for pain to find a skin,
to slide into wonder
silence is in balance with the danger in your eyes
I'm not looking for an antidote for dreaming
I feel your barbaric alchemy, your mouth full of birds
I play hide and seek with you in my hair
your hands don't sit quiet at the edge of hours
I wear my steps like I throw the dice
poetry is an antidote for the scream of an unseen colour
I keep you in my tears and you flow
Ah, Pradip,
once more, like a 1000 times before,
you submit title, demanding a poem,
daring me to author it's entire body & cell structure,
give it a native language birthmark, and a history unique,
even a name

Un fair!

Is it only me that you burden so, I doubt it.

Each of us has the right to the small tinys, things we see,
the embellishments of our lives,
filling our hives with pure honey,
and letting the other others peek
over our shoulders, as we write to each other,
always one more time until there is no more time

Do words have any boundaries?

How is it that words can cross the seas, the mountains, all the while,
interjecting the fullness of their import?

What time is it you ask?
Here, not yet 5 AM, and once more, here again, roused from sleep after vivid dreams, and finger pointing of my poetic life responsibility to complete this task, you gave me unasked, but know me too well, for well they rang like a bell in the brain,
a burr in the bed,
a gun to the head
Each
and all commanding,
fulfill me!

Do words require a passport to cross oceans? Do words have citizenship?
Why does entry into a different country require each time, a new poem?

yes, the house is dark,
I am alone, but not really…

The words that are conscripted to be issued, in this missive, fall so easily from my lips, that it is as if they were already there,
MRE's
?
pre-prepared, "meals – ready – to eat, "
for voyaging to the Indian continent, not caring if they came alone, or with my body in their person possessed

How is the little granddaughter?
Does she command you to write poetry too?
Does she write poetry too?
Does she learn English as well as her native tongue?
How do you tell her that you love her, celebrate her,
and that her fame and escapades are unkempt  
by real geographical boundaries,
and travel around the world?

Ah, You see
I have charged you now with responsibility!

Ah, the tables have turned, now boundaries must be crossed again with a passport issued from a foreign land (foreign to me anyway),
And I wonder and wander, when they arrive, how will I know,
commit them to memory, and love them with all my heart forever?

Praddip!
Go for one of your walks on quiet nearly empty roads, see the old people beside them, doing the things that old people do,

and memorialize these moments,
you do
so well, so fine, and let the other onlookers hear them spoke, in every language, so many love poems to life, we do not lack for any,
but always, always, always,
demand and require,
n e e d
(he howls)
one more!

Time: 5:1 2 AM
Eastern standard time
New York City
By the Atlantic Ocean
On an island surrounded by water,
That 1,000,000 or more every day pass by,
And here,
h e a r not the flow,
lost amidst
the blaring megaphone of silences
of
city noises, city words, cityscapes, human miracles, and tragedies, it cannot be.
that
I am
the only one so burdened!
And by well traveled poetry,
so un burdened

This semi private, totally public,
Love now,
Love note
is complete as of 5:16 a.m., and after a quick review, will be sent on to you, for submission of a unique-passport for
with its very own
valid entry stamp

nml
please, as usual, advise any typos (toe matoes)
So theoretically, if one made mass profiles on individual users via telecommunications data, for instance, using cell towers one could seperate individuals on a spectrum of information. By directing cell traffic to specific servers. Put the angry with the angry. Put the suicidal with the suicidal. Even seperate by tax bracket if one wanted. Control the rate of dissemination of any kind of information. Who sees what. When they see it.
You could even craft a narrative for one to follow.
Because now there is machine learning,
And that makes all of this possible.
Obviously, this would have to be done internally by each respective company.
Unless one had a backdoor or "pass-through."
Eintracht Frankurt came to London
and people asked me
whether i was a German
Andrews we talked
with Toby
in school about the bellybutton
and now i think he's my neighbor
and Pius about Ghana
and there was so much talk
of America
and going back to work i felt
relaxed
like i let things happens
and there were so many people
and no Noah in sight...
there were so few animals
willing to continue their existence
with us: humans
the cursed animals
so only the crows
as reminders
as pigeons as poems
as seagulls for the rallying cry of the Volk...
PRTAKTISCH VOLK
PRAKTISCH
i practice people
i see the child
and in that frame of art and mirror
the stature of marriage
among other males
is taggering... staggering...
it's either wine...
balsmaic vinegar
or any other vinegar
beer carried him off like a fizzy drink
and ***** and water align:
what other animals like
man without god or soul
is the lion in the zoo?
what is Witgenstein's Lion in Zoo
with Kneprick the Cat of Shroedinger
is a Lion in a Cage
in Man in Francis Bacon Portraits
of Freud-****** mannerisms
like combining **** with tobacco
is like Freud snorted *******
and ****** snorted amphetamines...
the ego crushing weight
of the self: in trip...
just in public: among people
Essex slang
when a vulnerable male
suckles up to you
Hammers in the Cockerels...
Hammer Cockerels...
Woolwich wankers
Arsenal are Millwall in disguise
while Tottenham are West Ham
in disguise...
Millwalls originates among the Scots:
the harvest of the Black Plague Industrialah
the Industrial Age
and the Black Plague:
move man into the society
i will shower you gold upon gold
so much till you arrive at FIAT
and where money is already
metaphysical: currency...
and there is so much talk of monkey
in money swimming for dog treatment
by cutting off the tail
for the dobberman
i didn't walk around the workplace
being all friendly and giving gestures
i was so Kauaian relaxed
i had my ***** at my side:
Reyla... coming into work...
like school with cages:
work is school: with cages...
work is school: school 2.0
work is work is school and school
oh dear
i just walked around
and looked at faces
and those that recognised me
and with who i had mutual esteem...
i said to Charles, Carlisle...
i got married...
when asked where i was for all of March...
where could a pauper security guard
go for a month
and i didn't own a yacht
but the love of my mother
and with wind to speak of
my father to guide me
and i can only find a brother
who is on the driftwood of the sea of time
with only the rivers in our mind
never able to be rivers
among the sea of time
against the crux of the grain of sand
he is not my son of god
my messiah
my one and only
he is my brother
who could dare to ask
to be his equal but never the original
but the ***** was fixed
and we waited
we knew
how this game was going to get played out
i lingered... slow... slowly...
speaking to old African Women
and in my dreams i dreamnt of the Baba Yaga
and i was just playing a game...
and i love the perfect happenstance magic
flicker.. of angelic wings...
i was asked: the glow of the marriage ring
he just sat down and i felt GAY
are you... sweeet? are you?
are you sweeet?
                         Essex into New York insertion
of "cool"...
            are you sweet?
the matter was resolved... i saw more patterns
of arrows...
brother O brother... what strange god
so corporeal and so cognition stealing
therefore if true:
wouldn't you want a mitigation...
of how emotions are reasoned with?
after all this is not about
the two dualisms within a dichotomy
or a dualism of two dichotomies:
i'm leaving behind the Use of Two Tongues
which: is... to be frank...
a bit different to what Philosophers Offer
in their realm of Monolingualism...

BILINGUALISM-SCHIZOPHRENIA:
i came into AUTISM month...
i think people think i'm autistic
but then i snap out of my autism
and i am too quick
a Tasmanian devil of tongues on Kauai...
let the choir sing
and that is heaven with god
but then there us in the democracy
of hell: that is within the realms of
purgatory...
and that also argues:
the synonymous hierarchies of heaven
when singing meets
with speaking...
and speaking comes from seeing
and seeing might come from words
and constellation of stars
and from there: came thoughts...
from the stars came thoughts
and not through our own cruel gods
let us go to the stars
but dreaming bigger
bigger than the people who dreamnt
actually making that first step...
let's work on the first step of man
on the moon...
and let's make more of those golgotha
magnets for the fridge
the best harem ande brothel
is my wife
and i get the dark project
for ego and the kantian noumenon
of the trinity in its most pure sense..
and the impure... less graphic...
    
three burger down man van
and i almost giggled a buddha from seeing
the chicken nuggets sink into his
giggles and gibberish that
i felt i might as well drink
a bottle of red
otherwise with you
i'd eat too much and drink some apple cider
vinegar to tobacco is tied to marijuana
now you tie apple cider vinegar to water
to *****
now let us visualise wine
the flowing feeling
yes but the first
step on the moon...
and where thoughts originate from:
the ordeal of the stars...
the invention of numbers
and trans-punctuation marks:

how to otherwise 1 + 1 = 2
and i: thought;
            this: for that: there:
i am: and: am not -
         such thoughts like trajectories
of keeping the cool
learning from Polynesia
but a Chronos in the Kitchen...
a terrible boss:
no chances in the kitchen
let's me know about my huspand
and how work happens
and how chill he is...
and she doesn't know how chill i am
at work... she thinks i'm not so cool
but her little girl i
think she thinks i'm cool
and i'm just being cool...
so cool off... please...

such epic demands:
like i must reread James Joyce's Ulysses
i don't know why i missed
the toilet scene...
i missed the toilet scene...
but i will have to sell me
my Dickens and Balzac
from the Victorian Era of Publishing
and Printing...
a bit like finding collectors
of Vinyl Liquirice...

     and there is so much jungle-flesh
and how i wish i was more
body and flesh
but i am: all mind and some octopus
i am not a fighter
i am a talker
and i'm o.k. with that
because my daughter
has good stock
of the dead father
like unlike the ***** bank
i am actually looking for a complete
psychological profile of a woman
that completely disregards her biological reality
and i choose the bioological reality
of the woman's voice...
as direct as mine in defence...
listen... no one is talking
about the 2nd ****** Birth
because that Implies...
the 2nd ******* Coming is No'Coming! M'un...
it.. ain't... *******... happening:
too much reality is
probably just enough reality
sorry
but Christianity is still the 2000 years
of feminism that
is finallyt being humble Satan
and exposing itself
Christianity is... deductively...
with Heidegger's hammer and...
well... hand-job...
    Christianity became Feminism:
thank you... the end...
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