You gave me the gun
but told me not to put my finger on the trigger until I was ready.
When you looked away
I aimed toward the sky and shot
and I told you I was just adding fire to the sky
even though the sunset was already taking care of that for me.
A few more drinks and we were running
chasing each other into the sun
and I could hear you laughing and slurring my name
each letter thick and heavy with liquor and love.
I tried to catch you
but you've always been out of my reach.
I stopped running just to watch you
and you were so beautiful with the sunlight around you
making you out to be some sort of escaping angel.
I would have followed you anywhere.
The colors in the sky started to fade the longer we ran
and as the night time approached
so did you.
You were gasping for air
and smiling like the world was your oyster
and I was turning into your pearl
after all these years of pressure and solitude
my grains and fiber were turning into something you found indispensable.
The best part is being made by you,
your being shaped me,
molded me into something you love
but I just don't know how to be something you miss.
When you're gone
it's like my entire structure aches for you.
My entire ****** make up craves you,
every strand of DNA
every nerve ending sparks to life
just to remind me of your absence.
The ultimate test
of unrequited love;
is to listen to someone explain
how their days began and ended with you
and to never tell them how you feel.
I prayed for three days
for you to tell me you loved me back
but all i got was changed subjects
and silence.
I am too often a friend of Silence
and that's why I shattered it with your name last tuesday night
so the broken pieces allowed us to have something to talk about.
If I was a knot
You would have frayed me
to the point where I could never fit with someone else.
You are very much like concrete
always stable
but it took a while for you to stop letting people step into you on accident.
Thats why you hardened,
That's why it's so hard for you to let me in
because there is no door to open.
So I had to make my own
and I'm sorry if my questions drilled into you
but I wanted to see if you'd break for me.
I promise to pick up your pieces
just like I always have
but this time
let me be the one to patch you up again.
I've got liquor to hold you together
and a Love that never breaks.

You were everything I wanted.
I was not brilliant enough.

darkness of the mind
fire in the heart
my desire
is
my destruction

within the forests of my breasted figure
lies a dormant snake
sprouting fear in my dreams
leaving me empty
aside from memories in my wake
all of the blue I once knew
suddenly bursting into flame

it's time to face what I create
a pair of emerald eyes
unblinking-unthinking
another of the deepest mud
unrevealing
no longer feeling
the last
most terrifying & candied eyes
butterscotch & bloodshot
looking upward to the crescent in the sky
seeing new colors
saying
goodbyes

six eyes
on three heads
sprouting from a body
made of
snow
curling crystals
jagged and etched
along the slender creatures form
hunger tries to consume
this beast
"what is love,"
the fire asks,
"save for a wet & bloodied feast?"

the snake uncurls
as if ready to latch on to it's prey
then soon after
bolts away

the heartbeat of fire:
much too loud in it's calmness
to be frightened by
hunting snow
with intentions to consume
such a succulent meat
will the snake evaporate in the heat of desire
or
will the fire be smoking
in it's failure
to catch the slithering beast?

frightened with a calmness
death is in the air
in the stare
of all
six
sick
& wicked eyes

the fire muses
in it's confusion
of what's right or wrong
the hunt is no longer a game
life and death
no longer simply names
realities of fortune
and lacking
just the same
the snow and the ice
too weak to face this flame

predictions of
when the snake melts down
to nothing but water and bones
she'll gather the crusted crystals of desire
she so often used to admire
used to hold
in a heart of stone

a different destiny to behold
if the snake
were to win
the burnt paper of her skin
would
go grey in the wind
no more
flames
no more
spark
heart grown
dark
and weary

what torture could send the snakes tongue
down her throat and lick the flame
into an outrage of misplaced
words
that held nothing save for demands
in those hands
the blood had stained
how much of how little could last
no more of the new
in the end
what is left is
all that has passed

snake and flame
forever
in cycle
recycling their pain
until
neither remain

If I could track myself down
(go back to when I completely
lost myself in you) I'm sure I'd
be on your couch with that
white blanket and your
h  e  a  r  t  b  e  a  t
racingracingracing
beneathe my ear. How
does
it feel to sit there without
me now? I wonder if you miss
me, do you wish         you could call
me, do you wish you could kiss
my fingers like you used to? I
had a dream last night
that we got married
on a jungle gym.