I had to keep back tears
when I discovered
that the plant
which I had nourished over years
      first in a ***
      then in the tiny frontyard garden
      where it had   after a while
      found its space amid the dominance
     of  honeysuckle & the bougainvilleas
had simply been cut off at the stem
by the guy I had paid to clip the hedge

     which he actually butchered to a degree
     that it looked like shrubs by the trenches of World War I
     devastated by artillery, grenades, and machine guns

I think I will not ask
for his services any more

the poet is a fragile me
that longs to gain eternity
by power of the word

the greatest fear is that
no poet but a nerd
    who cuddles into words
    and there gets lost
is what is heard
    outside this world of letters
and at the most
can claim illusions
    that may better
    the understanding of a verse
    of all the meaning it conveys
    the sorrow pain concern and love

and then again
    as said above
what reaches out beyond
     the mind that spins these notions
     of love and other great emotions
may just appear
as nothing but a comma
    in the ocean
    of words around the globe

that’s what we poets fear

The literati are moaning
about the crowning
of a comical smiley-face
with tears of joy
springing from its eyes
as Oxford Dictionaries 2015
"Word of the Year"

it's historic
indicative of a generation
raised on media shorthand
though some people think
the distillation of thought
to acronyms, symbols, emoji
is a bad thing too

but in these icons
heavy black heart
face throwing a kiss
reversed hand with ******* extended
even the simple : )
I see emotion
stripped bare

the whole gorgeous
heart-rending, horrible
hateful range of it
illustrating the dark
and light
of who we are
as a human race

So I say hail and welcome
to the "tears of joy" emoji
may his vivid counterpoint
shine around the world
eclipsing all the words
we've learned this year
for hate.

Corporations **** the core
Cuts the soul to ribbons
Takes all the labor
And pays back in paltry paychecks
That barely covers our debts
Whilst doling out pain and exhaustion

But the people are good
Hardworking and smiling
Straining to maintain
That spark of heart
That remains
While paying their bills
And feeding their family

The shift starts
And tired bodies
Stumble in
Factory already
Rumbling
Like last night’s thunder
People laughing and chatting

Lebanese dude calls me Habibie
Grinning and patting me on the back
Brown brother give me a knuckle bust
As he passes by with a playful gleam in his eyes
One guy doesn’t high five but bumps elbows
The Congo girls speak another language
Beautiful flowing and musically rhythmical
The Janitor sings Motown
In this factory town these are good people

The generators hum
The machine sings
Doing their thing
Hoses circulate water
Like life’s blood
Taking in the heat
And sending it away
Bringing back more cool water
That does the same
Cooling the loud and hot equipment

While the employees are stressed and sweating
Wearing muscle fatigue and sleep deprivation
Like it’s their second skin

The machines drums ch, ch, crack
Ch, ch crack like a musical number

While the workers hustle
A smoke break and a popsicle
Then back to work
A lunch break and a conversation
Then back to work
Last smoke break and a phone call
Then back to work
Leaving the factory body hurting
But still coming off
The assembly line a good person

Within the sanctuary of a warm bed,
listening to the wind and rain outside,
I thought I could hear her voice,
faint and distant, soothing amidst the turmoil,
whispering to my soul,
atonement for the pain inside,
once upon an evening like this,
shall I hearken to her call,
joining her on the other side of the dark,
velvet shrouds of night,
reaching out and making me whole again.

Yeah you are right, I should have forget them
Is there any reason to remembering them?
What if they had helped me?
What if they are only who are with me in my loneliness
What if they give me strength to tackle the problem?
I should have forget them now
Now I don’t need them as I have you
Now I should remove their name from my mind
What if I have lots of good memory with them?
We cried, we fought, we laughed and we danced
No matter now, I should be only with you
No matter if I want to laugh with them
I should be happy only with you
I should now forget these reminiscences
I should not be with them to help as they do
I should have forget them
And I am glad that I turned myself into selfish gal now
AND
Thanks for making me selfish …….
:( :(

I wish to be the best
I want to be the best
But is talk is all that's left
Am I going to leave everything to rest
Or should I work and pass the test
Well will I leave the net
That's holding me back from being the best
I know the road is long but I am ready for the test
I pray to God because without him I would never achieve
I wouldn't be ever recive the gifts  that I already have
I want to get out of my chest that I would never accomplish anything and that I would never be the best.
I am stuck in a black hole where I believe nothing is going my way and as much as I fight I find out I fall even deeper.
I never gave up but as I go my emotions play it's game
I feel down a lot and sometimes it gets to a point where I feel insane
I question myself wether I will ever reach my goal
Will I be the best doctor the world has ever known
Or will I still fall back to the unknown.
Am I a good person or am I hurting people's souls
These questions I ask everyday I wake up and when I go home
I wish I had no worries I even fear being alone
I hope I can deal with this pressure and move on but only God will help me get out of this dome.