The pain
The anguish
Every sound magnified
The whirring fan
The metallic cling and clang
Everything hurts

Every ray of light intensified
Burning holes into my mind
The bright
It's too bright
The head splitting pain
Is far too much to bear

A water bottle releasing air
Soothes the mouth
But pains the mind
The pill bottle fumbles
Through shaking hands
And rattles echoes through the skull

If sleep could only come
It's far too early to be awake
But minds like this are not so kind
To let rest fall upon the body
For even if the pain subdued
The dreams to follow would be twisted
Pain is the only thing to feel
Coursing through every fiber

Boy, how I hate migraines.

I want to be someone.
I want to be that cool kid.
Who sets trends.
Who isn't afraid to sing horribly.
And loudly.
And isn't afraid to dance in the middle of the street.
I want to be someone.
Who's happy with how they look.
At least for the most part.
Who isn't afraid to ask a guy out.
Especially when we have been just friends for too long.  
I want to be someone.
Who is up for anything.
Honestly.
Who isn't afraid to climb a mountain.
I want to be someone.  
Who is invincible.
But accepts defeat proudly.
In a way that is only mine.
And in a way that is inspiring to others.
I want to be an inspiration.
Too.
Someone that others look up to.
And think.
I want to be like her.
I want to be someone.
Who's carefree.
I want to be someone.
Who feels loved.
And doesn't try so hard to act a certain way.
I want to be known for me and only me.
I want to love.
I want to dance in the rain.
I want to let my hair down and not care.
About anyone else.
Or anything else.
I want to be someone.
Who gets an A.
And feels good about it.
Who can brag.
But not upset anyone.
Who people don't mock.
When they do better.
Or know more.
I want to do yoga.
And drink tea.
I want to be someone.
Who stays up late having conversations.
Deep ones.
About the universe.
And God.
And everything that comes to mind.
I want to feel religion.
I want to feel joy.
I want to feel pain.
Good pain.
From falling off a bike.
Or coughing on river water.
I want to stop taking pills.
I want to be someone.
Who is happy.
With me.
With life.
With everything.
Who laughs at fear.
Who doesn't feel darkness.
I want to be someone.

I sleep with desperate dreams, I sit in absolute darkness,
but I stand alone.
I smile in transient peace, I scream beyond the decibels,
but I weep alone.
I observe with stunning detail, I watch with the diseased world,
but I learn alone.
I wander into a sky full of stars, Along nature's beautiful walls,
but I walk alone.

Through long nursery nights he stood
By my bed unwearying,
Loomed gigantic, formless, queer,
Purring in my haunted ear
That same hideous nightmare thing,
Talking, as he lapped my blood,
In a voice cruel and flat,
Saying for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..."

That one word was all he said,
That one word through all my sleep,
In monotonous mock despair.
Nonsense may be light as air,
But there's Nonsense that can keep
Horror bristling round the head,
When a voice cruel and flat
Says for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..."

He had faded, he was gone
Years ago with Nursery Land,
When he leapt on me again
From the clank of a night train,
Overpowered me foot and head,
Lapped my blood, while on and on
The old voice cruel and flat
Says for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..."

Morphia drowsed, again I lay
In a crater by High Wood:
He was there with straddling legs,
Staring eyes as big as eggs,
Purring as he lapped my blood,
His black bulk darkening the day,
With a voice cruel and flat,
"Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!..." he said, "Cat! ... Cat!..."

When I'm shot through heart and head,
And there's no choice but to die,
The last word I'll hear, no doubt,
Won't be "Charge!" or "Bomb them out!"
Nor the stretcher-bearer's cry,
"Let that body be, he's dead!"
But a voice cruel and flat
Saying for ever, "Cat! ... Cat! ... Cat!"

before I run out of falling space I just wanted to tell you that it wasn't your fault.