A low roar in my ears, when I accept that I'm not the one to take away the marks left by a bad man.

I'll never be top choice
Never be number one
I won't be the most desired
But that's never what I wanted
I don't need everyone to love me
Or pick me first
I just wanted you to
Only you
And I thought maybe just maybe
But now I know the truth
I'll always be no one's favorite

Somehow I know
               Whatever I write,
           It’ll be about *you.

I was so scared.
Scared I'd revert back
To become who I was before you.

Simply wanting you
Is not love to me,
Even though such thoughts
Cross my mind constantly.

Love is doing everything
To make sure you find comfort.
It's knowing that you are safe
Whether it is with me
Or with another.

Knowing someone else puts a
Smile on your face
Hardly hurts
Compared to the rest I feel for you:
More than words can say.
More than anything.

I want nothing more
Than to see you happy.
Maybe not with me;
Maybe it is with him.

But in my mind,
It's you that matters.

Hi
Your voice... It's so nice to hear again.
It almost hurts....
but I've been so numb since you've been gone.

You've reached me
Have I?
I hope you're in heaven.
I never believed in god or an afterlife,
You know that.
but I hope there is now.

I'm out of reach right now
Because you won't be out reach forever,
If you're in heaven.
But heaven knows, I won't see you again.
You're so far gone.

But leave a message
And the closest I can get
is sitting at your tombstone.
Stone is cold and it doesn't warm my heart
like you once did.

and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
I miss you so much,
And I will see you soon.

Your call is important to me.

*beep

In no way am I trying
to intrude, jeopardize,
or interrupt your life
Before farewell my friend
or a final goodbye
I need you to know
there will be a guy
Waiting on stand-by
Dying to knight, shine,
and finally make things right

If you ever need me
No matter the reason
I will run full speed
and be there immediately
the next guy better appreciate
Every breath you breathe
You should mean to him
Everything and more
than you mean to me

The two of you
should always stay true
Leave nothing to prove
Celebrate while winning
because it ***** when you lose
It's like smelling shhh
and the last place you look
is under your shoes
Just keep a tight grip
and let nothing elude

With that I'll say
Goodbye for now

It's hard to let it go
Don't hold in emotions
They will soon take control
Setting off explosions
The truth is, I didn't know it
until I saw Frozen
Now they won't stop flowing
like rivers toward oceans

The very thought
of knowing you're okay
and someone is telling you
you're beautiful everyday
Legitimately puts me
in a happier place
Everybody has that ONE
they let get away

Thinking about our dog
happy and loving his love
Is the only other thing
flooding my tunnel with light
Please don't think
I won't forever be
emotionally connected
We built a family

With that I'll say
Goodbye for now

Let me tell you about my bad days
They pop up out of nowhere
In the middle of a laugh
Or maybe a joke
In the middle of an adventure
It just hits
Like running into a brick wall full force
Leaving me breathless
Gasping for just an ounce of oxygen
And it feels like running into a brick wall
Would hurt less
I lose all motivation to do anything
Wishing I could just lay back
And pretend I don't exist
Maybe have a plane fall out of the sky
Putting me out of my misery
Thinking every thought that has run
Through my head millions of times before
Every thought of death and pain
Every daydream of dying over and over
Sixty different ways
Sometimes with no idea why
All of this pain out of nowhere
For absolutely no reason
Hoping someone might see it and recognize
Pull me away from depression's cold grip
These are bad days
They are not beautiful they are dark
Cold, bleak, filled with pain
Don't romanticize it or wish for it
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy