Love someone who you cannot even
look in the eye:
it's not the demons in their self
but the way they make your heart
skip two beats instead of one
and maybe the realization that
they need not more than one look to know
you have already decorated a heart shaped room
in your ribs for them to find their home.

That's all they'll need to know
how once they let you in
you'll overstay
and lose your mind every time
their footsteps echo in the silent soundbox
of your conscious.

We don't talk of storms when they aren't already there;
if they can't fix you up,
they'll teach you how to ache instead,
and perhaps I'll learn to forget how to
give myself away in my smiles
and scribbles.

and scribbles.

Theres a feeling I can't quite explain
It comes and goes
An agonizing pain
It tightens my chest
As if someone is pulling on my heart
Sooner or later
I'll be torn apart

Theres this feeling
Thats raging inside
Like an angry storm
Rain made of tears I cannot hide

Theres this feeling
I can't make it go away
A dumb emotion
That keeps coming back again
It makes me cry
Till I can't anymore
I guess thats how you know
your heart is broke

Keep it all in I say
Build up a dam
Keep it to yourself I say
don't let them in

Theres this feeling
Does no one understand?
When I'm quiet and alone
When I lie and say I'm okay
I need someone to hug me say
Tell me everything

I try so hard to be the best I can be
But I always end up failing
Wear a smile
So they can't see
Whats behind it
What I'm hiding

It hurts so bad
And I don't know why
I want to disappear
Some days I want to die
Theres this feeling
I can't quite explain
I guess I'll let it build up
Until it breaks the dam

one day
between sheets and tea
i will tell you of the way
i dreamed of you with me

there will be laughs and tears
and potholes and fears
but you will look at me
and i'll just let it all be

I remember the first time
I fell in love
Unconditionally
Caught up in a sudden change
Of the atmosphere
Trapped in the perilous mood swings
Of the universe
With its unforgiving glow
Speckled diamonds
Drunken beauty
The night sky,
Dripping from the solar system
And drenching the Earth
In it's everlasting nostalgia

Darling night,
I'll never know of love
If I can no longer feel you
Between my fingers
You fill the empty spaces
Like a secret lover
hidden
in bed sheets and liquor drawers
I search for you everywhere
Finding you in places
you don't belong
Like a child
in a candy store
Or an addict
in a mental ward
I find myself lost in you
But not wanting to be found
quite yet


You are the dance I'll never learn
The poem I'll never understand
The inconsistent mix of right and wrong
But I love you just the same
I'll never be able to reach you

You are meant to be free

Even when you gripped my heart
So tight
That it turned into star-dust
And scattered everywhere
On that dark canvas

I hope you can feel me too

When you glisten
With those explosive diamonds
Those brilliant flashes
Of ecstasy
I like to believe
You are signaling
to let me know
That you’re still there
And that you’ll always be there
Even when I'm not
The cosmos are all
Too knowing
But I am
Far too oblivious

So
Unravel me
Sing me your sweet song
Drown me
In your melancholy
Dearest night,
Hold me close
And never let go
For the ubiquity of you is forever

you are the countless pages
in books I've never read
rain soaked, sun spilling across
an August afternoon
pouring in hard through the window.

a nice companion,
the queen of forgetting.

the earth bruised your fragile heart.
i know you mean well but
waking this part of me
will destroy us both.

the day
i raised her
in sunlight and shadow
colors mixing on her lips

you reach out your hands
scooping up the sand from this
burial mound
falling slowly from the cracks
between your fingers,
my former life piled high around your ankles.