sitting on my bed
i asked you to show you your world
i had a flight to catch at 7am
but we stayed up till 3
going through memories on your phone
like your ex-girlfriend who you
broke up with because you didn't
want her to suffer by your side
and your sisters who are closer
to your dad than you'll ever be
your mom loves you so much
she calls you her entire world
i understand why
i revolve around you, too.
remember that night
under the blanket and stars?
you asked me if i had ever been in love
i said i was still trying to figure it out
but if love means that breath that got
stuck in my throat when your lips
came too close
or the feeling when you held out a hand
to help me climb on top of a roof
we weren't supposed to be on
hours after our plane landed
or when you carried me on your back
all the way back to my bed
the night i turned eighteen
if love is feeling rough around the edges
but full of all the light in the world
then i've been in love all along
but your lips never came close enough
and your arms let me go
tonight i mourn-
the death of a hero.

I imagine that I long
For her touches,
I miss the smell of her hair.
I'm lonely without her.

My friends tell me it will
Be ok,
And I try to surround myself
With their support,
But sometimes I just want to be
Alone.

I suppose I'm lonely because I
Miss some one that I love.
  I guess I'm only alone
When I choose to be.

I'd rather be lonely than alone.

I’ve contemplated it.
Whether or not my life is worth living.
I’ve thought about all the ways I’d be better.
The ways everyone else would be better.
But then I think of the people I love
And how much they might miss me?
Who knows if they would miss me or not.
Maybe I’m just another grain of sand in the great big beach of life.
Just another pebble to be stepped on,
In someone else’s pathway.

I’ve contemplated it.
How I would go through with it.
I thought about all the different ways.
Maybe make it look like an accident?
I don’t want anyone to be to blame.
Except for me that is.

I’ve contemplated it.
When I would do it.
Where I would do it.
But in the end,
I’d never go through with it.
I love him too much.
I love her too much.
I love them too much.
And maybe they don’t love me,
But that hasn’t stopped me
From loving them.

In the end,
I can’t do it.
I’ve finally realized
I’m not alone.
And neither are you.

When I was small,
I picked out an Aquaman action figure
Out of a bin at the secondhand store
He was missing a leg
Most of the paint worn off at his joints
But he was brand new to me
And what my mother could afford
I made up a story
About how his enemies had hurt him
How he'd defeated them
Became stronger
Was world reknowned for his powers
I loved him and this love fixed his brokenness
One perspective change made all the difference
I am like this.
Not broken, just reimagined.