K Paige

K Paige Mar 2018

4:43am

the photographer has a golden hour and i am envious of them

the golden hour is the period of time directly after sunrise
or before sunset

it is here where light kisses dark

it is here that these artists thrive

and come alive

it is here where they capture a magical transition

synchronized
soft
inevitable

the writer may spend months in a stupor
searching for their next golden hour

how dizzying it is to realize that what we see is believed to be
more real than what we feel

when will the sun rise in my mind again?

-k.p.-

#photographer #writer #block #transition #soft #mind #sad #searching

K Paige Mar 2018

suicide credit

these synthetic lights are too loud
the microphone keeps
threatening to take off my head

i don’t want to be a part of this cast anymore
the script is grim, defected
infecting my nights as i fixate on the plot,
which
            baffles
                        me
with its steady flow of crisis

the director keeps demanding dramatic theatricals from me
we rehearsed this particular scene a few dozen times
i’m in an airport terminal
a woman bears to me grave news of a man
who has drowned himself
screeches erupt from the mouth of a child

end scene

now the final production has been released
i’m sitting in the audience
my life is happening on the screen
there are
                earthquakes
                                       in my veins

i am the director of this film

roll the credits
but don’t give me credit for this

-k.p.-

#heartbreak #misery #suicide #death #widow #guilt #grief

K Paige Mar 2018

apathy: the silent killer

there are bodies on the street
with alleyway homes and crooked teeth
their itchy stares cut through rain and stick on me
they are wavering somewhere between desperation and apathy
and i’m out of my head because i see their disruption in me

there is a crisis of coldness flooding big cities
there is a crisis of avoidance and a crisis of indulgence
and it’s typing people to anchors and making them sink

i must confess that i’ve glamorized my sadness
and look where that’s gotten me
the death drive has a hold
on the rich, the poor, and the in-between
fixated on an after-life that will never be
or crazed by a substance to bring them to their knees
this city is an ocean of people divided

but dying from the same ******* thing

-k.p.-

#apathy #divided #death #city #crisis #depression #isolation

— The End —