The day you disappeared I happened to skip school
I often wonder what it would have been like
if I found out over the intercom at school
and not through the phone calls in my bedroom
i wonder what it would have sounded like
I wonder how they said it
I wonder how people in my home room would have reacted
they were all freshman who probably didnt know you
I wonder if it might have brought me closer to cry with others
or if would have made me angry to see people to pretend to be sad for attention
I think maybe it was better to be alone
but I feel like I am always alone
now more than ever
All my friends that knew you
are gone now
they dont care about me anymore
did they forget about you too
after over a year
the world keeps going
unaffected by you or me
but does anyone know
how thoughts of you still hurt me
does anyone know i still miss you more than anything
does anyone know I still have nightmares
does anyone know I still text you on twitter
does anyone know I still cry when everyone is asleep
does anyone know I am still angry at you
does anyone know I still hate you for what you did
does anyone know know that i still have dreams that feel so real that i forget your not alive and you feel so close to me but I wake up and i am scared and remember your so far away and i can never really talk to you about any of this.
does anyone still do this too
because I feel so alone.
no one that I know now knows about you
did I even know you
how could I wake up one morning and you were just gone
will I ever feel better

If you would see me,

You'd notice me looking at you at any chance I get.

If you would hear me,

You'd notice me talking to you at any chance I get.

If you would smell me,

You'd notice me staying my best for you at any chance I get.

If you would feel me,

You'd notice me shaking over being with you at any chance I get.

If you would kiss me,

You'd notice that I'd been waiting to do this at every chance I get.

I didn't think taking decision may be tough
Leaving hurts but staying is also rough
I don't want it, This is enough
Maybe this is so usual in love
Whenever you hurt and show the white dove
I should not accept everything you do and bow
I should start being me and stop staying low
Sometimes never stay, just let it go
Better tell the death sentence than the vow
I know I badly want you but I choose a "NO"

happiness hit me
like a bus
it's my fault
for not looking both ways