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 Dec 2015 J
B
Have I always loved you or was I in love with the idea of being in love with you? Loving you wasn't all that I made it out to be. I imagined loving you would feel like the crash of the waves of the ocean hitting my waist while hearing the laughs of kids who are just meeting the beach for the first time in their lives. I imagine loving you would feel like rainy days in the summer that last for three days straight and make the grass and plants look greener than ever. I imagined loving you would feel like the first warm day of spring after enduring the bitter winter for three months. I imagined loving you would feel like discovering the most beautiful place I  just recently had the privilege of exploring.  But what was loving you really like? Loving you felt like getting the air knocked out of my lungs after falling while ice skating when I was a kid. Loving you felt like my first skinned knee after falling off my bike while learning to ride it without training wheels. Loving you felt like the first time I got too drunk and the room started spinning and nothing could stop it. Loving you wasn't all I made it out to be. Maybe I didn't love you, maybe I did. All I know is, that's not what love is supposed to feel like on my side. Maybe you loved me, maybe you didn't. I know the words you spoke, but I don't know what went through your head. I just hope the next girl who loves you feels something different than what I felt.
 Dec 2015 J
A Lopez
I'm a murderer
I've stabbed my own heart.
I'm a thief
I've stolen my own happiness.
I'm a liar
I've told myself how much better things would be.
I'm a slothful woman
I fell asleep.
I'm greedy
I've eaten my own pain.
I'm hungry
Just not for sin again.
 Dec 2015 J
XIII
I am so sad that I cannot write a poem.
 Dec 2015 J
Lyra
Riptide
 Dec 2015 J
Lyra
I sit down by the waterfront, it's evening
the tide washes over my feet
it mimics you in every move it makes
it rushes to me then suddenly retreats -

If there's one thing I know about the ocean,
the same I will hope for your heart,
the sea always finds its way back to shore,
can we find our way back to the start?
Based on Cathy Cassidy's "Bittersweet", simply altered it slightly and posted it because this verse makes me feel things
 Dec 2015 J
Got Guanxi
I'm all right
 Dec 2015 J
Got Guanxi
Sleep
Evading
Daydreams.
Mainframe
Requires replenishment;
Tired of those twilight nights,
Fighting to sleep,
Sandman strong -
insomnia undisputed champion of the after hours.
Unified thoughts,
Tricks of the weak,
Infinite sheep in the meadows,
Crisp dew droplets rise like a workforce when the dawn breaks.
For heavens sakes,
The river runs deep with those
Mystical tears,
The levee breaks,
Regressed thoughts overtake
REM patterns, exposing those fears,
Hidden in time,
Raw increpid, dormant,
Now active,
After all these years.
I can't sleep in ***** creek,
Those floorboards are calling.
Leaking roof,
Drips drops,
Water boarding,
Torturous thought, stomach in knots,
Tongue twisted and parched mouth.
Sunshine through Venetian blinds,
Cracks forming.
Pretzel rolling, naked flesh,
Contortion,
The mornings,
Calling,
My name.
Hello new day.
A
Crusade; maybe.
But I'm
Too tired
to
tell you
how
I
really feel,
about the situation.
 Dec 2015 J
Poetic Thoughts
My heart is an open museum where people walk in and out for free. Exploring until they can’t find find what they intended for, so they walk away. And I stay with myself
#heart #museum #myself
 Dec 2015 J
Lillian Harris
Don't let yourself
Get close to me
If you don't
Intend to stay
Don't dance
Along the
Thinning line
Of loving and
Going away

Don't allow me  
To attach myself
To who I think
You are,
Better strangers
With whole hearts
Than broken
Lovers
From afar.
 Dec 2015 J
Joey Mauro
Untitled
 Dec 2015 J
Joey Mauro
I can sit
in this chair
forever

and search the
sky for black
birds while you

try to find
a song that
isn't hollow

But we can't
Stop the tide
So we kick

smoke from old
Wood that burns
on red leaves

Watch it drift
Sway, sink and
Remember

each tea cup
ringed poem;
a mirror

of this that
is not us.
 Dec 2015 J
SE Reimer
lost
 Dec 2015 J
SE Reimer
~

there is a lighthouse churning
in the fury of the storm,
thirty-three for land are yearning,
loved ones waiting news at home;
a captain and his crew a'fight
brave souls that never cease to hope,
to bring their ship to port a'right
all pray for dawn that never comes.

fifty feet from trough to crest
she drops with groan to valley low,
to rise again with frothing peak,
her wild plunge from stern to bow
she is no place for wearied souls,
provides no quarter for the weak;
no port in sight, for thee no rest,
yet braver souls we need not seek.

her vessel old is wearing thin,
her searchers all but losing hope;
as only remnants one by one,
in bits and pieces still afloat
leaves watching world a sense of dread;
alone remains a sheen of grief,
these waters won’t release their dead;
El Faro won't you speak?

did you break apart in final hours?
or did you roll into the deep?
listing near the Crooked isle,
your precious cargo now we seek;
even one to tell your tale,
are all now lost; is all forlorn?
of those that stepped aboard to sail
will no one living come ashore?

though wreckage lost into the deep,
though family arms now torn apart,
in waves awash the mem’ries heap,
your tale lives on in untold hearts!
your souls cannot the ocean keep,
for fathers, sons, daughters, lovers,
unknown eyes for you now weep,
your names in prayer a world now utters!

all that to these waves go down.
you that ply this furied sea;
you, the brave, though lost have found
a harbor’s safety from the storm,
a port that offers welcome,
hope from strife forevermore,
safe in everlasting arms,
now rest eternal; peaceful be!

~

*post script.

this news story has increasingly gripped my attention since first breaking early last week. i began putting thoughts together earlier this week, but had hopes of publishing instead a writ ending on a joyous note.  with the Coast Guard calling off their six-day search this evening, all are now being declared lost at sea on Oct. 1st, 2015.  no joyous ending, no happy reunions... only sadness, like a sheen of grief over the Atlantic.

she was  just shy of 800 feet in length, El Faro (the Lighthouse), a US flagged cargo vessel, en route from Jacksonville to San Juan; she carried 28 Americans and five Poles, to the depths near Crooked Island, Bahamas; her last transmission- “propulsion lost, listing 15 degrees”.  

her tragic end, succumbing to the fifty foot seas of Hurricane Joaquin, leaving no survivors, none to tell her final hours; only one life ring and a body of broken evidence amongst the flotsam midst the waves.

rest in peace you brave souls thirty and three!
with your families we grieve!
 Nov 2015 J
ok
Beautiful Intruder
 Nov 2015 J
ok
Look at him.
Running around in my dreams
like he owns the place.
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