The light shines through the windowpane
and I start to melt, I scream in pain
Hello? help, I can't do this again
Shut the curtain, I'm alone again
Sizzled and fried, I think I just died
How does it feel to still be alive?
My lungs are the only thing that's left
Slowly rising and falling in a ****** mess

How does it feel to still be alive?
Stop crying
Goodmourning

My heart skips beats when I can't sleep
My eyes strain red
I shot myself in the head
This hole in my brain makes me think I'm insane
Watch me laugh it off again
Syrup pours out but it's not very sweet
So I'll hand you the gun, tell you, "copy me."
Outcasts in hysteria hold onto our feet

How does it feel to still be alive?
How does it feel to join the dark side?
Stop crying
You're dying
Goodmourning

I'm sick of the nausea
Tired of the insomnia
Any second I could freak out again
Panting, screaming, apologizing, weeping
I'm scared of myself more than anything else
Manic attacks of sudden ******* panic
I care too much or I don't care enough
I beg my angels to let me give up

Went and got a tattoo just for the needle
See myself out of body, I don't need her
Spinning till morning
Looking at old pics mourning
I don't know why it's happening again
I thought I was done being broken
In and out like the breath from my lungs
Fast heartbeat but not from the drugs
Please, no
Another low
**** me slow

I stare at the stars
my soul ceases to exist.

I see it far away
my mind in celestial abyss

When will my tree grow?
I water her, feed her, & make sure she gets enough sun.
Why won't my seed grow?
I used to have a green thumb.

Trees are supposed to be beautiful & powerful,
so what's wrong with mine?
All the other trees are sprouting, why am I stuck behind?
I can't do anything right
And this soil is so dry.

I'm trying to break free

At least I'm already buried.

Aching, alone in the moonlight
My hurtful thoughts burn just as bright.
I drift numb through waves of sorrow,
The desire to be weightless lures me further below.
It's the calm before the storm of hunger
Yet I continue to starve, my stomach protests like thunder.

Fading in and out, I'm drowning no doubt.
Floating above me are skeleton bones and thin torsos
I idolize them, while my self hatred grows.
My lungs fill with salty tears, making me bloated, accomplishing my fears.

I'm ravenous
I don't care
I say, "I'm not hungry, really, I swear!"

Standing naked and ashamed in front of the mirror.
"You look disgusting!" A nasty voice sneers.
Recovery is far, for I still utterly agree.
I'm a horrifying atrocity, don't let anybody see.

As I drift forlorn to the open abyss
I beg, just wanting self worth and bliss.
The violent waves subside,
Making me realize it's okay now if I die
But I'll say it one more time: "I'm fine."