When a woman footy player explodes,
Read about it in this little ode,
She is so 'over' the antediluvian,
She knows what to do, some man,
Cleats to his groin,
End of his sirloins,
Off to the pub she went,
His supper was a non event,
A loud, proud f....ing moll,
No antediluvian's little doll,
A woman footballer explodes...
Thus concludes this little ode......

I went to the library for epic lit,
I found some Clive Cusslers to pick,
No, "Dirk Pitt is a total *****!"
That is what this ******* thinks,
So I came home with yet more chick lit..........

I went to a town called Koroit,
I came home from Koroit,
At geography, so adroit,
It was Kismet in Koroit!

Once we were all a smoking,
COPD we were a'stoking,
Now we're all so aging,
Coughing, coughing, coughing,
Well, hello there, coffins!

Sublime, subliminal sublimation,
Fantasies of our creation,
Dream Lover? First contact!
Whispers of love we can't retract,
A world of our own,
Lovers never alone,
Fantasies of our creation,
Sublime, subliminal sublimation.......

Clothes may make a man,
Or, indeed, any woman,
Do you frock up to delight?
Are you a vampire of the night?
Do you look good? Perhaps,
Strut your stuff, chicks and chaps,
You wait till you get old,
You're invisible, you're told,
So, enjoy being young, so clever,
Bad luck, youth does not last ever!

Fresh is the air in the morning,
Flowers my garden are adorning,
Feral cats in the day are yawning,
Fun in your eyes I am adoring,
Friendship is our glory,
Full of maybe a new story,
Fantasies are for the creating,
"F" is the letter I am relating..........