If I could trade places,
Surround myself with new faces,
Maybe I could share my smiles,
With new friends across the miles,
To learn fresh customs and foods,
To acquire broader attitudes,
If we could all trade places,
There would no other 'races'.......

Despite proposals along the way,
I never married again,
One was a transvestite, gay,
He did have better lingerie,
I turned him away,
I never saw him again,
I wear menswear, you see,
I would have been Bridezilla in fleece,
I guess that would have been a release,
Married in fleece, beyond belief...........

What is it really like to be old?
Read along, and you'll be told,
Well, there's spectacles and hearing aids,
Also along the way, by the way,
There's dentures in glasses,
Zimmers on greys who want to make passes,
Then there's incontinence aids, bad hips,
Appointments at medical specialists,
Then you're off to the pharmacists,
To get all your scripts,
Then there's the alphabet song,
Read along, read along,
A is for Arthritis,
B is for Bursitis,
C is for Constipation,
Always a grey consternation,
D is for Diarrhoea,
And no doctor wants to know ya!
Finally, Z is for the big sleep at the end,
No wonder geriatrics go round the bend,
Yes, greys, these are our golden years,
Have fun learning, no need for tears!

Can you really believe this?
Italian melons of steel got her kiss,
She latched on to the newsagent man,
Of Chinese culture, he was her fan,
They planned their weddings back to back,
Both bride and groom to wear basic black,
In multicultural Melbourne, anything's possible,
Buddhas as bombonieres, indeed quite probable,
Yes, melons of steel finally got her blip!
Can you really believe all this!!!!

Imagine, Jesus here and now,
If He was here today, somehow,
Jesus' miracle of loaves and fishes,
The crowd wanting only gluten-free dishes,
And fish naturally mercury free,
Not canned salmon, prithee,
And the bread with soy and lecithin, you see,
And does Jesus do coffees as well?
A double soy decaf latte, extra hot, so swell!
Only from free range cows for thee!
Pesticide and chemical free,
Gotta be correct, politically,
Jesus' miracles in 2017........

There is a river of life and time,
I celebrate it in this rhyme,
A vast, flowing broad waterway,
We're swept along in a tide of days,
People floating far and near,
Ships in the nights, close and dear,
Then we all sort of float in lines,
There is a river of life and times.........

Decluttering was  my intention,
It was like a holiday detention,
But! I found such lots of things,
I couldn't part with anything,
Rummage and ye shall find,
More cupboards when I've got the time,
Cleaning house, not such a bore,
When decluttering is your chore........