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125 · Apr 2020
waiting
julianna Apr 2020
I’ve waited for you
But now I’m just waiting
Wanting indefinitely
I’m uncertain
I long for more
Because this life isn’t true
This life isn’t what I live for
124 · May 2020
sidelines
julianna May 2020
i hate to be on the sidelines
and watch you suffer.
so many things are keeping us apart.
my hand is stretching,
yet my reach is too short.
123 · Oct 2018
Hatchet
julianna Oct 2018
Stop digging it up
Bury the hatchet
You’ll be okay soon
Just repeat the word stop
And take a deep breath
You need to stop racing
Thoughts in your mind
The past is the past,
Just leave it behind
121 · Sep 2020
I wish I had a friend
julianna Sep 2020
I wish a had a friend
Someone kind and silly
Innocent yet troublesome
Beautiful, unknowingly so
I wish I had someone to giggle with
To be like a sister
To be a listening ear
Without judgement
Without jealousy
Just a friend.
might delete later
121 · Apr 2020
When August Comes
julianna Apr 2020
I want someone to hold my hands
Warm my soul like a flame
I miss your face, skin, warmth
Get me excited for life
Or just get me out of bed
I’m tired of blue light and bright screens
Foggy eyes and groggy thoughts
I want to see the Sun
And your smile
Let me reach out and touch you
Touch
Breathe
Maybe when August comes we’ll be better
We’ll make it there together
Quarantine wishes
121 · Apr 2020
• Lines •
julianna Apr 2020
I walk a fine line in life...
I could avoid stepping on the cracks,
Tip toe in silence
Follow the rules
Try to be perfect
And ask,
“What the hell is wrong with me?”
When I don’t get it right
Or maybe
I could pick flowers
Skip on the sidewalk
Color outside the lines, sometimes
And finally be okay with getting my hands *****.
120 · Apr 2019
Do something, anything
julianna Apr 2019
There are things inside my head that overwhelm me
I’m not sure if I’m overreacting
I don’t know if it’s just me who feels this way,
But I am too overwhelmed to get it out of my head
But I’m screaming internally because it’s all too much
I know I need to do something but I’m too paralyzed to do anything.
120 · Apr 2018
self-conscious.
julianna Apr 2018
unfortunately,
I cannot love enough.
my blemishes and bumps
will trump me doting
on you.
120 · Apr 2020
Love is a glass half full
julianna Apr 2020
how much we love someone
depends on how much
we love the person we are
when we are around them
119 · Aug 2018
Me/Us
julianna Aug 2018
Why do we force a smile,
And let the people lead?
Anxiety will end the “us”
And it will leave the “me”
119 · Feb 2020
wrong side of town
julianna Feb 2020
You should be on this side of the city,
On this side of town
Instead of away from me...
I want your arms around me
I want to hold your hand
Interlocking fingers
Touching
Hugging
Loving
But you’re in the wrong side of town
WIP
118 · May 2020
I wish
julianna May 2020
I wish...
That what other people wanted,
  I also always wanted
Because then I would never have to choose Between being selfless and being myself.
118 · Aug 2020
Between the Silence
julianna Aug 2020
I find solace in being busy
Once I find the quiet
It’s like Tyler said, it’s violent
I fill my life with noise
To drown out the voice in my head
What ugliness lies between the silence?
Do I want to find out?
114 · May 2020
Rainy In May
julianna May 2020
I may be thinking of you, but it might just be the weather
It might be the food, the music, or the talk
No matter what it is,
I see you in my head
I hear your voice
I say your name
There’s so much more we could have. But is it the right choice?
Am I brave enough to try?
113 · Aug 2020
happy/sad
julianna Aug 2020
I’m a little sad, I hate to admit it.
I’ve worked so hard and I’m happy.

But sometimes I’m not.

And it’s hard to accept
That due to no fault of my own,
I can become sad sometimes.

And now I’m sitting in it.

Uncomfortable,
But I’ll get used to it.
julianna Feb 2019
I tried to capture the feeling of growing up.
You only realize that everything changes,
that’s it.

Everything changes.
-
112 · Oct 2019
the ghost of u
julianna Oct 2019
She could try to greet me
She could just say hi
But she just eyes me daily
Avoiding looking in my eyes
I try
I try
I try
But she never smiles
I try
I try
I try
But it means nothing at all
106 · Apr 2018
Off-Course
julianna Apr 2018
How many false steps did we take
Or wrong turns?
No one noticed when we swerved off-course
But we’re too far now
Too far now for hope
So we pick fights over little things
And ignore the big
Because we’ll never find our way back home
106 · Aug 2020
The Cavern
julianna Aug 2020
I listen,
And it takes me back.
“A little while longer,”
I tell myself.
And although I hold onto hope,
Sometimes I let myself slip through the cracks
Of this endless cycle of dreams, deaths, and everything in between.
movements August 1
103 · Feb 2020
Mine
julianna Feb 2020
I won’t stop until I make you mine
If I wear eyeliner, will my blinking eyes catch your attention?
If my lips are lined with red will you want to kiss them?
I’ll bleach my smile, curl my hair
Buy new sweaters, and a nice blue dress
I won’t give up for the rest of time
I won’t stop until I make you mine
I may edit this later
julianna Sep 2018
Scars are not supposed to hurt,
But I run a finger over them and feel
Pain
It’s bittersweet the feelings of this,
Should it be like singing in the rain?
An awkward bliss.
Instead, I remember the initial wound
Instead, I still feel the ghost of you
Yes, scars are meant to heal
But they can still hurt
And hurt
And hurt.
101 · Jul 2020
I-
julianna Jul 2020
I-
positivity is being slow...
in a slew of good and bad,
opposing moments
roll through my brain
and every day
i pick and choose:
analyze
detect
absorb
deflect
and every day
I feel the pain of
better days
that’s haven’t happened
yet
98 · May 2018
Winter
julianna May 2018
Carry on regardless to the cold and bitter moon.
It will once get better, but you haven't seen it soon.
Winter's just a season, a thick and hazy fog
It goes away eventually if you keep moving on.
96 · Oct 2018
LiveLikeI
julianna Oct 2018
Live on air,
Like I do
Change the subject
To lighten the mood
Pick up the pace,
Then fall behind
Stop caring too much
Fall back into line.
89 · Oct 2018
i'd never tell
julianna Oct 2018
It was beautiful,
The way he touched me.
He could be ashamed,
But I'd never tell anyone about
The way he grabbed my waist.

— The End —