I don't know what hell you've been through,
I'm not sure how many days,
You've endured loneliness and neglect

You could have reached out.
Instead, you decided.
Living was just a game,
And completely took everyone by storm.

And I'm not sure why
You took your own life.

I'll question it 'til the end of time.

You've had so much going for you.
But in your eyes, there was nothing left to live for

Why you couldn't speak up,
Before it was too late...

Why you didn't tell anyone,
And only gave us a short moment's notice.
Before you pulled that trigger

How was it logical,
Perfectly normal,
For you to think
You'll leave this world today?

...Now all we have,
Are the memories and the image of
What we once knew how you used to be

Look behind you,
What you may see may disturb you.

What you once were
isn't what you are now.

It's not the physical appearance; the way you dress
Not the tone of your voice,
the change in your character –
But the difference in your demeanor

You've developed from a carefree soul
to a figure you never imagine yourself being

The lines on your face,
developed from years of hardship;
days in which you endured, prevailed
fell back down, got back up again

Weeks in which you worked day to day,
Just to make ends meet. Months in which
You struggled to keep up on your feet.

Your past self imagined the world would be cold and dark.

In every way, you see it's worth it.

Worth each waking morning.

This may not be what you wished for
When you were younger...

...It's all a part of living life.

We eat, we drink, we live, we die.
Pay our debts to survive.

We have to live through hardships,
To make it throughout life.

We’ve traveled for a long while now,
And I don’t regret each moment...
Spent together with you.

All we have is each other these days,
And to be honest, I’m perfectly OK with that
Who am I without you?
(Who are you without me?)

You helped a fragile heart,
Unlocked it from a keepsake treasure box
Kept it living, kept it breathing
Kept it pumping, kept it bleeding

You helped push me forward when I was too scared to move.

You gave me courage,
You gave me strength

Something I could never feign

_________

Look at me,
A hundred miles away
From home, from friends
From family and loved ones alike

You say it’s a big jump.
While I agree; I’m willing to take the risks

What’s life without boundaries?

However, I’ll be the first to admit: It’s not easy.

I will miss them dearly.

I know they’ll be in my heart,
As I will be in theirs.

But I need to move on with my life.

I need to take that final leap of faith
And let love guide the way to a better life

Two years forward,
Life continues to move on.

I take steps to avoid,
Going back to the hell
I once put myself in.

I remember telling you,
"Please forgive me if I forget you right now."

I took a precautionary measure,
To save me from demise.

I was so fragile back then.

Any memory of you,
Made me feel like I,
I was the cause of your death.

I blamed myself for every little thing.

I wasn't there when I should've been.

...When I was mourning your loss,
They told me to stop being ******* myself.

"You did nothing wrong.", they would assure me.

In a way, they were right.

However, I can't stop but think,
That the smallest gestures
Would have made an impact,
And you'd be here tonight.

Maybe you would be alive to this day.
But reality sank in. I realized...
There was nothing I could do,
To save your life.

Moving on seemed like the only option.
As hard as it was to admit, I had to let go.
There was no way I could bring you back into this world.

I had to face tomorrow like it was another day...

Another day has gone by without seeing you smile,
Another day has gone without hearing your voice.
Another day has gone by, and I had no choice
but to move on without you by my side.

When you’re too afraid to speak up,
Too scared to reveal the hidden
Emotions that haunt you day to day --
That’s when you know,
you know you’ve got to do something quickly.

You’ve kept it all in for too long,
Abuse, neglect, torture, and regret.
You’ve got a long life ahead of you,
But in your eyes, it seems you’ve reached the end.

The scars on your wrist,
the blood on your hands,
the tears in your eyes -- they all tell a story.

I can tell how much you’ve been through on the outside.

On the inside, I can’t help but only imagine
if you’re actually holding back the real motive.

I can tell that you long to die.

Before you decide to take that step,
I want you to close your eyes and imagine a world without you.

Imagine all the people who genuinely care about you.

What will happen if you decided to take your life?

Think about the people who love you.

Think about your friends, even relatives who seem not to care on the outside.

In the end, they’ll all feel the pain.

Your friends wouldn’t be the same,
Some would become distant.

Your family would be mourning the loss: especially the ones closest to you.

They’ll all change.

Not for the better,
But for the worst.

You can roll your eyes all you want.
I know I’m getting through you.

I know, deep inside, you’re listening to what I have to say.

My point is...
Despite all the bullying,
despite all the harassment,
despite the beatings...

You have people that care about you.

Put yourself in their shoes.
What would they do without you?