It's late, I know
I promised that I wouldn't call
I just need to hear your voice
Need to know that you're alone tonight

All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie

I hate that it's so hard for you
To conjure up a tear or two
Tell me it's not all in veign
Mourn all the years I gave to you

Let me save a single moment from the drain

All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie

Tell me I'm your person
It's just one more lie
Tell me I don't deserve this
It's just one more lie

All I'm asking for,
Is one more lie

One day you will know.
One day you might understand.

Any averageness you ache for, you will not find here.
No organization, nor solidity.
I am a whirlwin of inconsistency.

My thoughts are never ending.
My body is never resting.

These feet will never settle on solid ground.
This soil will always forbid it.
Like sinking sand, it embodies me if I give in to its suddle ease.

I'll run my race.
This never ending pursuit of wholeness.

You can't keep up.
Your desire is what keeps this earth above your eyes, where every other living soul chooses to reside.

This dirt under my
Fingernails is from crawling out
Of holes that Life
Threw me into.

Well... at times I jumped in
Without help.
The point is
I know how to get out.

I'll teach you; here, take
My hand. I might even let
You have the whole arm.
But know:

The moment you try to
Pull me down for a quick fix
Of company and comfort, I'm
Letting go.

Life is more than holes.
More than self-pity.
The sun never searches for
A cold face to kiss.

Shuttering in the in between.
Trying to search for some sort of normalcy.

Some place I'll never know.
Some place I've never been.

No sort of consistency has ever maintained me.

No established foundations.
No branching deep roots.

No part of me has any sort of regularity or normality.

It is how it has been, it is how it will always remain.

I never saw the value in
Getting back together.

Gone is gone.
Dead is dead.

The world is just too huge an
Adventure

To give up a new one to
Go back.

Back.
Life is too short to

Embrace anything that begins with
*Yester.

My vulnerable heart beats just for you,
In tune with your every breath and step,
Its steady rhythm will always ring true,
For your love my heart will always be kept,

Mysterious beauty filled with pure bliss,
Your mesmerizing eyes they shine and gleam,
Deep and inspired our fortunes they kiss,
Reflecting bright shades of emerald green,

Strong yet calm your voice like a steady tide,
The words you gently whisper in my ear,
Masculine, mature cannot be disguised,
Relieve my timid heart of quiet fears,

But my lost heart cannot sing evermore,
Without you here to cherish and adore

A whirlwind of strange
I've never spoken like this
And had someone know it like you do

I could fall in love with you
From your letters alone

Finally
Someone is speaking my language

My beautiful, terrifying, secret
Language

I've had this cloud of thoughts
Not fully assembled
Yet you see it all at once
So orchestrate the symphony

You know I will not yell it
So you try to translate
Like a childish game of telephone
Where the meaning dissipates

But I don't always mind,

As long as you are
Speaking my language

All of your words,
you some how break me
so dangerously
and gracious.

I want to wake, up
But not beneath this heavy burden
That has bled my bones
So tired and uncertain

But the birds
Build nests above my head
And they hold their homes together
I mimic their every thread
But I, unravel altogether
I need rest

I need a safe place for me to lay my head

I want to sink
Somewhere deep beneath the ocean
But I'll reach, my arms tall
Like the trees that tower over me
With their roots so planted deep
In the waters that are drowning
Let me sleep

Let me be

I'm so tired.
Tired of living.
Tired of dying.
Tired of just being so tired.

To not feel is a curse.
& to feel is a blessing.

But what is the in between?
Exhaustion I think.

I'm just so tired.