Lucky are those who have found love
and been loved.

Lucky are those who bear the gift of face.
   Easy is for them to find an easy case
            for their own taste
     - a goal for their own base.

Lucky are those who has an outstanding confidence.
For by it, they don’t live with a doubtful fence.
Freely as they get any wants in their existence.

I give away smiles, pieces of my lies,
        pretending not having rainy skies.
Hiding my Breathless sighs.

Sometimes I am like a rock
   too dull to feel, a surface too rough.
A sense I lost, an unreachable core,
I don’t know how to love anymore.



*© 2014 Pax

Something about her
the way she sips her beer
as if it’s tea, and she’s in a kimono
peering out into a storm
as the wind rattles the ***
and snakes through the silk
she undulates, sliding her finger
over the rim, then sips

I know the real storm
broods inside her frail frame
but she says little. mostly listens
and it drives me utterly insane
she should scream or bang on walls
she should throw ashtrays into tvs
but instead, she simply nods
her glazed eyes as still as pearls

She’s like a cherry blossom descending
towards the  muddy trail below
she will be trampled by hooves
of  merchants and thieves
and I am the charcoal cloud, aching
as I feel her falling farther from me…

I’m crashing.
I have chills down my spine
As I flash to that night
Where I was soaring
On top of you.

The withdrawals have kicked in
And my mind can’t seem to turn off.
Up
And
Down
Until I have reached
Euphoria.

I keep blaming you.
Why did you give me that hit?
Just enough to keep me as the beggar
On your corner.
Your prime customer.

But it isn’t your fault.

It is me who is addicted,
to boys afflicted.

I open the door.

You slide in
With that look.

I know what this is,

But my clothes
are already on the floor.


Your skin on mine.

Your lips on my neck.

My legs pull you closer,

Simultaneously building

To our release.


As the water beats down our bodies,

You hold me.

And for the first time,

I feel what it is like to be close to you.
Swaying to the sound of the shower,

I know your body is lying to me,

But I so badly want you to prove me wrong

As I cave in
To that moment
Of hope.

when I read Emerson
just the same
as when hearing
Led Zeppelin
or watching
Breakfast at Tiffany's
just a bit of breathlessness,
a spasm of
echoes ringing bells
Cat,
reflecting back,
in my gasps,
about to burst into tears,
touch,
deeply,
I don't understand it.
It,
is in me,
just driving, on on, endlessly,
the motif, the Theme,
rhythm.