echoing images pass through aged eyelids.
through deadened nerve and grey matter.
leaving themselves in limbo.
hanging in air.
floating.
captured only in fleeting stills on pages.
unrecognizable.
clouded in murky after thought.
"Remind me again of who that was," it begins.
"Do I know them," it continues.
and with confused silence it ends.

Is it worse to continue to remind someone of what once was
than to just let me go?

overwhelming.
brightness flooding over angled nose and curved jaw.
trickling over pores and hairs
to nest within a well that reject and tightly closes.
refusing. relenting. relinquishing.
eyes fluttering open.
lashes sweeping away relaxation
away dreams and wishes.
forcing thoughts to lingering lists of facts and figures.
as reality's pavement likeness persists.
responsibility, risk and resolution resolve.
until the head rests again.

You laugh because of the jokes I tell, but
I laugh because if my thoughts linger I may never laugh again.
So this is how I hide

I hide in my humor
In every joke
In every chuckle
Every time I poke fun
I'm hiding
I'm hiding how I think
How I feel
How I can't stand myself
The way I look
The way I talk
I'm hiding
On Shakespeare's stage
I play the role of a clown
Hiding tears
Hiding my fears
My make up is camouflage
Hidden by white paint and a red nose
Convincing others I'm fine,
I laugh, I joke
I hide.

It's too late for me
So heed the warnings I share
When my love clouded mind
Was impaled upon her reality
Her choice was someone else but,
It was more than that
Her choice was to use me
I let myself get used
Still she stole my heart
Cardiac larceny enacted upon me.

This was my choice I say to anyone that will listen
She, the object of my affection, finally released me
Accompanied by the black eye her father gave her
After her mother slammed the door in my face
Instead of being broken together
We mended separately
We grew apart, but in truth
I learned a lesson that day.
I can't allow that pain again
I won't

Once the flood waters erased
What I thought we had
What I thought we were building
The aftermath brought clarity
She never cared like I thought she did
And I cared more for her than I did for myself
So, don't get lost in love
Sometimes it's hard to find your way back
To yourself, to protection
To naiveté