The candles on my birthday cake
Are a body count.

I've got friends who work in pharmacies
And talk about nothing but addicts
And I've got friends who are addicts
Who talk about nothing but drugs
But what am I supposed to say
To my drug-addled friends
When you're the only addiction I have
And there's no cure for
My pharmacist friends to figure out?

I am being devoured from within
In the most whimsical way.
It is with ease I feel it to say
That an obese leg amputee
Is standing on my chest
In their single high-heeled shoe.
I am being devoured from within.

I need a cigarette.
Because the word "okay"
Has become my safe haven.
For I am all right
Though I'm drowning
In skepticism inside.
I need a cigarette.

I am a toddler's tantrum.
My innards have been twisted in knots
Not even Maniac Magee could untie
For the promise of all the pizza in the world.
I am a toddler's tantrum.

I am an anxiety and not much more.

I've found myself fighting for words.
But not one: Me.

You surf on the open waves of my tyrant mind,
A nymph at play on my heart strings
Plucking away your song of healing.
I am a just-born child in your arms
As you rock me and sing to me
Even though we're both adults;
For the fear and hatred never escaped my soul
And I still crave the touch
Of your figure as I lie awake at night, cold
And alone.
I can still feel your hands on my skin tonight
Though my love,
You are miles away.
With what anguish I still yearn for your embrace,
Your calming tone.
Tonight I lie in wait
For my prince to return home.

I was only a soft experience,
Pounding on an anvil,
Ironing out my life.
And you were quite unshaven;
But you had a quiet disposition
That made me immediately
Go weak in the knees.

And I let you take me down
And breathe into me a frown,
A permanent elegy of light.
My darling, you were the only thing
That I was willing to hold on,
The only thing I wanted to wrap my arms around at night.

Loving you is the only thing that makes sense,
The only thing that keeps me breathing so deep.
And how can I repay you?
How can I ever thank you enough
For loving me in spite of the danger?