How unworthy is my soul of the
abundance of blessing that have
been bestowed upon it?

How wretched I have been in my
dealings and thinking when I am
unwrapping the package that engulfs
myself like parchment paper.

Instead of gently peeling away my
nuances so that the mixture of my
true meaning can be exposed, I
choose to rip open that paper
relentlessly letting the flavors
and juices escape only to be
lost forever.

I am so reckless!

By Joanne Mathis

I submerged into this liquid that was
neither hot nor cold. I knew it was liquid
because I could hear the squishy sound
it made as I traveled through it.
When my eyes opened all I could see was
a colorless kaleidoscope.
I could not find myself no matter how hard
I tried. The more I tried the further
into the liquid I submerged.
I was able to stop and stood still.  
At that moment I realized my hands
were up around my head. As I could
not feel anything, I envisioned
myself banging my head with my fists.
The weight of the liquid began to go into
submission and disappear. I fell freely
to the bottom, waiting for the liquid to thicken again.

The ridiculous is a part of our daily life. It's what we do with it that determines our stability and well-being.  
It's something that is rarely or never spoken. How do we store all that ridiculous information that challenge us mentally?  
Moreover, how do we know that what is driving us crazy is just plain ridiculous?
When you have come full circle
in your life and repeat everything
step by step, well that's just ridiculous!

The ridiculous is a part of our daily life. It's what we do with it that determines our stability and well-being.  
It's something that is rarely or never spoken about. How do we store all that ridiculous information that challenge us mentally?  
Moreover, how do we know that what is driving us crazy isn't
just plain ridiculous?
When you have come full circle
in your life and repeat everything
step by step, well that's just ridiculous!

Being African American is like being on a
see-saw riding up and down and not caring who or what is wavering the other side.
It's standing straight and not being late for your job, because the snob you report to is bright and always right.
When your children attend a school, they have to follow all the rules, because they are black and evidently lack the brain power to shower and shine and achieve.
It's being told over and over again to keep your mouth shut and only speak when you are spoken to. If by any chance you don't
and they listen you're a token.
All the achievements that are made came with
a price and not a roll of the dice.

By Joanne Mathis

No! It's not menopause, it's you.
I'm just not strong enough to let
you know I've had it and I'm not
having it!

For years you've been
touching me in a way that
makes my skin crawl. I'm not
feeling it!

Love is in my change of life
and your not changing it!  
******* my teeth and rolling
my eyes, you totally ignore.
I have never uttered those three
magic words and I'm just not
saying it!

I left you because I did not
want my son to be affected by it!  
Then I got back with you because
my son misses it!

**** it! I'm not having it anymore!

The pain crawled into my stomach and inched its way around my back.
It just lived there, making itself familiar and relaxing its insufferable ways.
I buckled over in agony wishing and sometimes praying it would settle down and STOP or DIE or GO AWAY.
The curse had finally caught up with my purpose, my legs, my arms, my body, and mind.
I wouldn't dare cry out because I was a big girl, eleven years old. Even then at such a young age, I knew...
Periods and death were a given.

"Wake up!" The little angel voice shouted.
I laid there with my eyes shut tight
pretending not to hear the voice. The
slippery rope was wrapped around my neck,
so my little hands grabbed onto it and I
pulled my knees into my chest. “Push the rope
over your head, you must be next to the hole!"
"I'll never go back through again!" I murmured.
"There must be a mistake. I've
already taken my turn."
"If you won't go," said the little angel voice,
I'll get him and he'll make you go!" So I ******
my thumb and waited for him.
Gently the slippery rope rose over my head.
I felt a soothing nudge coaxing me around
until my head was at the hole. When I opened
my eyes I saw him. "I was here before," I
said. He touched my lips with his finger and
whispered into my ear, "You left too soon you’ll have to go again.

"I have something to say to you.
Are you listening to me?"
"I'm looking at you, right!"
"I love you... I said, I love you."
"So what!"
"Never mind."