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 Dec 2017 Jessy
Star BG
Quote
 Dec 2017 Jessy
Star BG
Love yourself from the outside in
(being depended on others for praise)
and your in trouble.

Love yourself from the inside out
(knowing the divine one you are)
and the whole world begins to see
you innate beauty.
inspired by Jessica
 Dec 2017 Jessy
kas
this is how it happens
it's the last day the temperature will be
above thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit
until February
you're not looking at the date
it's just the end of November
the middle of the night in the middle of a road
at the end of November
the hum of this small town hurts your ears
you're stuck in a dream where everything you see
turns into a weapon
this is how it happens
you knocked back sharp, amber liquid
to make this place feel a little more okay
and it only worked halfway
no matter how soft the edges are
you bruise your hips when you
run into them in the dark
you're ******* on your fourth cigarette when
a police officer pulls over and asks
how you're doing today
in the too-bright white of the headlights
the sick taste of Red Stag sticks to
the roof of your mouth
the mouth that you're moving into a smile
the mouth exhaling plumes of smoke at the ground
you're okay
"i'm okay."
you don't tell him what you're really doing
you're really taking all of your
thoughts about stopping your pulse for a walk
you don't tell him you've been
chasing ambulances all night long
please, officer don't leave me alone, you don't say
he tells you to have a good night and drives away
and this is how it happens
the moon smiles at you with every single one
of its tiny, sharp teeth
nobody but your cat finds you in that bathtub
nobody but your cat watches you rise from red water
watches it drip drip drip
from every chasm carved in your left arm
nobody but your cat saw the soft animal of your soul
shiver from the cold that day
it's the first day the temperature
dropped below
thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit inside your chest
based on true events
 Dec 2017 Jessy
Jey Blu
This is it.
The last step.
The final action.
This is all I have to do.
Before I feel the sweet release
Of death.
Freedom.
Is that what they call it?
Release.
Maybe that's it.
Letting go.
But it's so hard.
Stepping off.
There's no turning back now.
Closing my eyes.
I've made my decision.
Taking a breath.
I feel the wind rushing past me.
Heart racing.
I plummet towards the ground.
No, wait.
I can't stop this.
It's permanent.
I wish I hadn't.
They'll miss you.
I didn't say goodbye.
It's a shock as you hit the ground.
I can't feel anything.
There's blood everywhere.
I hear screaming.
Your body shouldn't be at that angle.
I can't undo this, can I?
The sirens are getting louder.
I see my mom. She's crying.
They load you onto the stretcher.
Wait, I'm still here! Mom! Can't you hear me?
Your voice is gone, and so are you.
I see a bright darkness.
Walk towards it.
It consumes me.
Time of death: 9:34 a.m.
 Dec 2017 Jessy
Goldilost
never mind
 Dec 2017 Jessy
Goldilost
Sinking through the bathroom floor
Lying in my own thoughts
Maybe they're tears
I don't know the difference anymore
Covered in disgust for myself
Or maybe it's *****
The worlds out of focus
Or maybe the rooms shaking
Never mind, that's just me
Falling through the floor
Being caught over and over in a web of regret
Am I the spider or its pray?
Blood, and ***** pouring down the drain
Silence fills the bathtub
It's raining,
never mind, that's the shower
The waters salty
Never mind, it's red
All this time,
Waiting to feel anything besides my thoughts

Why does it hurt so bad?
How can feeling nothing hurt so bad?
 Dec 2017 Jessy
anya
ease
 Dec 2017 Jessy
anya
my anxiety is killing me
how many nights i've gone through without sleep
i cannot comprehend the feeling inside
the stairs i take are too steep
my legs are weary, they won't climb up
my anxiousness drowns me in darkness, yet i'm in drought
hearts racing, thoughts running, eyes searching for something grounding
every little mistake i make makes me so jumpy
only the pills she gave me can calm it
although i chug them down my throat
my own mind says those **** won't help me that it won't cure me
and now here i am, sitting mindless and thoughtless and with nothing to hold onto
a note of surrender towards my own demons.
Life is like glass
My body far too thin
To end up with your shards
Deep in my skin
Now these scars run upon my fingers
Trying to pick up the broken pieces
But they run too deep just to forget
Despite the wilted roses
From the time we first met
So now I sit and wait
For something dead to grow
 Dec 2017 Jessy
Jey Blu
To Feel
 Dec 2017 Jessy
Jey Blu
To feel the blade
Is to feel in control
When you just want to let go

To feel the pain
Is to feel alive
When all you crave is death

To feel the tears
Is to feel the sadness
When you just want to be numb
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