I shake time's hands
for having met you.
Then, spit in their face
for taking you away.  
Sometimes a good pair
of headphones stays around
longer than a friend.

If unsure, begin.
If confused, ask.
If lethargic, drink coffee.

it’s cold and you’re warm and the sun is
almost about to rise and you are
going to tell me you love me and i
am
sick to my stomach
because you’re filling voids i didn’t know i had and
it’s scaring me
it’s scaring me to be whole and it’s
scaring me to feel
it’s scaring me that you are growing this close
and i cannot even believe i’m letting you
and i am worried you are going to say i love you
and i am worried i am going to say it back

*k.c.

Writing
Is the only way
For me to stay sane

I am broken
bent, forgotten, lost,
trying to build myself and I have good self esteem
so why do I feel so confused and tired
I love this life, I am constantly in joy
why is the sky so gray and burdened
why does the ground seem to spin
why do I want to lay in my bed all day and forget what it is
that threw me off a cliff
I want to be nothing, I want to cease, I want to stop fighting and
listen to music and close my eyes and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
and sleep
til oblivion takes me-
and arise, new;
in this life I can never be enough
I cannot give you enough, I do not care enough, I am lost,
I am not the person you want or need, I am a facade of broken dreams,
I can never be the poet you love and I can never write down all you are
for all I want now is to live and I do not want to live in artsy coffee shops
I do not want to live in bookstores and cliches and carefully worded lines
I merely want to survive on my own terms and rest, I would like to rest
and stop thinking, I am too absorbed in myself
and what I need to fix to fix you
I cannot help you or anyone when I can hardly even get up out of bed,
how can I get back on my feet when I don't want to? How can I
be someone for someone else
when I can't even be me for me?

There's beauty in these letters,
that build the words I write.

My soul is born again,
when my heart isn't feeling right.

I find myself inside the words,
and create these worlds at night.

These words are me,
to a tee,  
but to define me in a rhyme;
never have I done it,
but I do this just to try.