Each beat of my heart is discordant
As I face the horrible reality of tonight
Oh I want to close my eyes
Forget the sight of your indifference

Each breath is a gasp in disguise
As I face the fearful ache in my chest
Oh I want to lay in your arms
Forget the blows upon my fragile heart

Each thought I bear is a knife
As I face the implications of tonight
Oh I want to apologize a million times
Forget that you were the one wielding the weapon

You were fast moving

with the slyest amount of caution,

forward but I saw the hesitation.

I should’ve known from the moment you pressed your hand on my cheek.

That extra second you spent in your head
before you made your move.

The softest touch, so sincere. 

Did you know what you were about to do?

How you’d make me
fall in love with every touch,
every look you made in my direction.

You fell too, but never
for more than a second.

I knew how to play the game,
you just knew how to play it better.

Oh, look at the mirrored boy,

A selfreflection destroyed
Got rid of the distorted
Omitted the fractured

I took another avenue
The time was due
To direct me to truth

Another mirrored boy
I eluded,
Circomvented

A deception
Of the opposing persona
Mirrored in a boy
Falsely identified
As a must-be
Piece of me

It was a long day
In a short life
And I forgot to remember
That I should be glad
At least I remembered to forget
That I should be sad
It was a long day
In a short life

I want to be a sparrow
Not a worry in the world
Just a song to sing
A song of vacillating notes
That comes as natural to me
As breathing

I want to be a sparrow
But instead I'm a crow
Cawing calling to the night
Not a beautiful song with stacatto notes
No music for the soul
But a warning

I am a crow
I am not beautiful
I am not lovely
I am not something lovers write about
Only mythology
A stigma surrounding
A mystery
When I long to be understood

I want to be a sparrow
Because people understand them
A dove, a pigeon
A bird of paradise
An eagle, a hawk
A falcon
But I'm a crow
Misunderstood

My world is flat
My faults are lines down contenintal divides
And I listen to the music

My hemisphere
Is mostly northern where I can see the stars
But not the galaxy

Still vibrations
From the metal strings that leave me calloused
Bring relief

My old friends
My angels on my shoulder
My fighting against a current
To reach an island

And all my lovers will be there

I tore you apart
I wanted to build a bridge
To an island
I couldn't swim to
I wanted to build a castle
Impregnable
Protection from the invaders
I wanted to build a tower
A beacon
A landmark

But instead I tore you apart
And then you gave me your heart
And then I tore you apart

Its not what I wanted to do
I never wanted to be so cruel

i'm sensitive,
i over think every little thing,
and I care way too much.