Some days you cry because you miss them
Some days you cry because you listen
To your fears that hold you back
It feels like a heart attack
You want to succeed
But your too afraid to try
Too afraid to close your eyes
And listen to that lullaby
Of solemn sorrow you once knew
All too well

I have a good relationship with death.
We handle each other well.
And when I get anxiety
It’s she who inspires me
To take a deep breath and let go.

My hands are strong, but my knees are weak.
I fall to the ground, nerves shaking to my feet.
I look at the ground, gripping it tight with my last nerve.
A battle that beckoned my own strengths...
I question, is my weakness defeating me?
Maybe I am locked to my own chain.
Is depth really my own despair?
Or does my darkness make its own light that only I can transform and foresee.
I am facing a new beginning, change.
Only, still hopelessly romantic with a love sickness that destroys me.
Depressed by my own loneliness.
Am I beautiful?
Or am I blinded by what's to come
...
The fire lurks within, strong hands, but weak knees.
Shaking, to the inner pits of me.
A love to destroy, I am worthy.
I only ask of a man of my worth to be mine.
I set fire to the rain, and I watch the sky burn, as I touch the flame

New beginnings...
Changes that are happening as I walk...
A *** of gold awaits...
Do I take what I worked for?
Do I leave it to shred.

Swallow away, lose myself in all that I am portraying.
Resurfacing, coming out the other side.
Remembering all that I am, all that I lost, all that was built, the potential that has no name.
Standing in the crowd, talents that can bring wonders to the world, a brain of Einstein and a body of a dancer.
A painters tongue, I am wasting all that I am born for.
Obstacles defeating my purpose.
My passions have me mentally in a constant war.
I am wasting myself.
Without my passions, I am nothing, a lonely soul with nothing, not even people can fill the misery.
Authentically multitalented.
How do I make it happen?

Love, a written spell that is cursed with loss and longing for someone else.
Tenderness, reciprocation, union, everything that exists between two people in purity, belonging.
Emotions overflowing... I feel you, miles apart, I miss you.
It's deeper than love itself...
It's spiritual, it's someone I was with before, many times...
Needing them in my presence.
Tears rolling whilst thinking about him...
Puts this heartache on my spirit.
So synchronized, the iridescence of it is unreal, untouched...
It's depth takes me away from what doesn't matter.
But it's the only thing on my mind and its the only thing I want.
A love so raw, so deep, it is dared to burn the shadows, the fire, and the petty talk.
Completely far away, but once it is mine, once we meet, it will be something of twilight, of eternity...
The burning flame that will never go out.
I love you...
I want you now...
I need you in my arms...
I feel your energy vibrating immensely through my body, its amazing, so amazing I dare not to think about it to that depth because it ripples away at my water streams and takes me away from what needs to be done in my reality.
I need you now, long lost twin flame.
I have not been the same since I met you, and I never will.
I have never felt this with anyone, ever.
I truly desire the magic we can create, the intellectual art that is lost.
I have felt love with others before, I have been hurt before, I have hurt, to be ridden, yet, I met you, and never forgot.
You imprinted on me and this is something that  will last a lifetime and beyond.
I am in love with you, Yolan.
Please come back home...