I am
So tired.
I am cold
And white
And blind.
On my wrists,
Defensive wounds
From a vicious love,
From the kisses
Of a black asp
With constellation eyes.

I have been reliving my death.
I have been choosing
That sweet, frigid venom,
An addict dripping poison into my veins.

But I am
So tired.
I am spent
And lost
And alone.
There are bruises on the soft insides of my arms
From a habit of worshiping
Sharp things.
Under my fingernails,
Dark soil
Evidence of a grave I've overcome
Too many times
And a struggle I've won
At a cost.

I am sick of death.
Sick of attending funerals for the futures I lose
Brutally and unexpectedly.
I am sick of being tolerated.
I am sick of being
Sorry.
I want to feel life in me.
I want to learn the taste of sunlight
And safety.
Of forgiveness--
I hear
It is sweet as warm honey.
(I wouldn't
Know)

I have gazed....
Oh, I have gazed long,
And the void saw me
As I saw it.
And long after I wished I could look elsewhere
I stood, gorgonized, on the edge.

Hold my hand.
Remind me that I have hands.
Spread light
In me.
Forgive me for my gravity as I lean forward on that hollow breeze that's always calling.
Pull me back and keep me
Steady.

I will never be
On solid ground.
I will never be easy.
I will never be
Safe.
I am half light and half shadow,
Half joy and half pain,
Half kindness and half anger.
I am a great, twisted tree,
With my branches in heaven
And my roots
In hell.
Love that in me,
Will you?
Will somebody?
I am ready
To bloom.
I am ready
To live.
I am ready to be exactly
What I am.

/ShiˈTHi(ə)rēəl/
She·the·re·al:*  

Adjective
an extremely intelligent female who's true eternal beauty so delicate; the existences of her elements; too pure for the feeble appreciation of mortal beings. An abundance that exceeds that of a lifetime; breathes aire to throne, when bodies combine; redefines the confines of a lifetime; by spirit, body, soul, and mind.


Synonyms: grace, beauty, ****, elegant, unique, exquisite, fine, attractive, blessed, ******, intellectual, pleasure, presence, excellence, brilliant, woman, *****, confident, comments, sensitive.

The first time, You and I making eye contact, is like getting high off of  second hand contact; then you said Hi, didn't know how to respond back, instead, had my friend, give you my contact. That was a while back; so surprised, we finally got in contact: But, when you sent that text, I was fixing my contact, jumped up in shock, my eye and Iphone made contact, ended up deleting all of my contacts: it's the only reason I didn't respond back.

if haters and fakes, kept it real, and weren't snakes: we all could enjoy a piece of the cake.